Tag Archives: EFT

autism verbal stim

Some Mornings Feel Like 17 Levels of…

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The other morning, before I even had a chance to hit snooze at 4:35, I woke up to this:

Click to hear (speakers DOWN!)

It proceeded for four and a half hours, until I left for work.

Trying to get out of bed, my son was standing over me making these very loud, bizarre noises.

Getting the three malamutes leashed up and ready for their morning walk, my son was trying to ride them and screamed the noises in their faces.

While I was preparing his breakfast, he would sneak up behind me and scream the noises so I jumped and spilled his food.

During my entire workout he would jump on my back, grab my leg, stand on my back while I was doing pushups, and fight with the dogs… all while making non-stop noises.

Whilst in the shower he would constantly open the curtain and scream (it echoes! Oh boy… even louder!) the noises.

Applying my makeup.

Getting dressed.

Making coffee.

Packing lunches.

Preparing the dogs’ treats.

Yes, four and a half hours. Of course, I was in rushing deadline mode, not patient parent mode, so I made the situation worse.

As I was leaving for the office, he immediately sat down and began composing beautiful original music on his DSi XL. Huh? Then he had the temerity to say to me, “Mom, it seems like you have your feathers in a bunch today.”

AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!

So what was going on?

I wish I knew. I wish I had a distinct checklist or pattern that would solve for “x” (the noises).

It could have been something he ate or drank before I got up (clearly he was awake before my 4:30 alarm) that caused a reaction.

Maybe this was an extension of sensory-seeking behavior.

Maybe it was verbal stimming due to something was worrying him – a change in a pattern or schedule (he recently had some issues with visitation and his father).

Maybe he was bored.

Maybe he wanted attention.

Maybe he was just having an off day – we all have them. Children with Autism (and puberty!) may not intuitively know how to channel “bad day” energy.

What I do know is this: had I stopped for five minutes and employed one of the tools I normally pull out of my “patient parent toolbox”, I’m sure the morning would have gone differently. I’m not saying the behavior would have stopped completely, but here are some ways I could have redirected him:

  • Invited him to join me on any of the physical activities of the morning, like the dog walk or intervals (jumping jacks, jump rope, running in place, squats)
  • Taken a yoga break
  • Engaged him in a one-on-one activity that he loves (Hangman, Picto-chat, Uno)
  • Played a sensory game
  • Had a protein snack
  • Did an EFT tapping session
  • Designated a “screaming” area of the house where it’s okay to let it all out

These are all quick, simple ways to break the pattern of the morning. I, on the other hand, became stressed, got aggravated, and let the panic of being late overtake me. I got to work feeling like I wanted to carve out my intestines and strangle someone with them. Imagine how he felt, having all this energy in his body and not knowing how to get it out without getting in trouble!

Lesson learned. Sometimes we have to experience 17 levels downward before we can “level up”.

What about you? Have you seen a behavior recently that made you pull your hair out? What did you do about it? What could you have done differently? I’d love to hear your stories in the comments below or on the SOA Facebook page!

My Top 10 Autism Support Tools

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As you know, I’ve seen incredible progress in my son during the past five years. I am happy to report that he has never undergone any traditional therapies outside of the home; everything we have done together on this amazing journey was created from my research and personal connections made over Twitter, LinkedIn or Facebook. These connections led to expert interviews and the introduction to some really unique tools that made a huge difference in our lives. Here are my current favorites (in no set order):

Chewelry - Kid Companions is a chewable and wearable fidget that is safe, stylish and effective. It’s the perfect alternative to fidget toys and chewys and worn as “chewelry” is less-than-discreet.

This awesome product keeps my child from destroying costly toys and clothes and actually helps him focus and stay on task!
Calmer By Nature DVDs and CD – With no music or voiceovers – only the raw sounds of nature – the film helps with Stress, Anxiety, Insomnia, Sensory Problems, Alzheimer’s, Dementia, Autism, Sensory Processing Disorders, Cognitive Behavior Therapy, ADHD, and Mental Illnesses. In addition to helping Justin get relaxed at bedtime, it also:

  • Calms him before an outing he may be feeling anxious over
  • Redirects him during times of high stimulation
  • Provides him with short, 10-minute “cool down” times when he needs a sensory break
  • Gives him ideas for drawing and video creation projects
  • Starts conversations about the wildlife we see on the film

Yoga Ball - I bought my yoga ball years ago as part of my never-ending fitness research and it has been such a versatile staple in my home! From traditional use in my fitness routines to my daughter using it as a “dinosaur egg”, my son rolling around on it, and its employment as bedtime proprioceptive tool… it was the best $25 I ever spent!

Many times our evening ritual consists of “hot dog”: rolling him up in a blanket and using the yoga ball for deep compression on his back. We use different patterns as “toppings”; like circles are called onions, vertical rolling is called ketchup, etc. This is an instant calming tool that never disappoints.

Sandbells - These are our favorite fitness accessories when we work outside – we do overhead carries, throws, passes, and much more! They are safer than dumbbells and offer a sensory experience to boot!

DSi XL – Many parents would argue that video game systems are not a support tool. Here’s why I encourage my son’s use of his DSi XL: Flipnotes. He creates videos using an application that mimics old-fashioned, frame-by-frame animation. Sometimes they are 800+ pages long. He then adds music and voices to these videos and posts them in his Flipnote community, where his fellow creators rate and share them. It’s really neat to see the patience and detail that goes into the creation of these animations!

Digestive Enzymes/Probiotics – These are not a replacement for a diet free of gluten and casein (and other common culprits for food sensitivities like soy and corn!), however digestive support is essential in children on the Autism spectrum. There is a direct link between digestion and behavior. To be completely transparent, we are not on a 100% GFCF diet but we do our best! These enzymes and probiotics help step in with support where we fall short with diet alone.

EnListen® - With all the alternative, natural and creative strategies I try at home to help improve my sons symptoms and behavior deficits, the one thing I cannot do for him is change the way he processes sound! Sound Training has been such a gift and blessing in our house. While it is not a magic bullet by any means, the gains I have seen on a physical, cognitive, and adaptive level have been unmatched.

Social Media - As parents we often throw our entire being into helping those we love,  especially our children. The one thing we forget is that we need support, too! I have met some incredible people on unique but similar journeys over social media that I never would have encountered otherwise. I personally want to thank every single person that has connected with me on the social web. Your presence in my life – regardless of capacity or length of time – has made my universe a better place.

Signing Families - Louise is one of my favorite ladies on the Internet! One day we will meet in person and I bet it will be like we’ve known each other for years :) She has been teaching American Sign Language for more than 20 years to families with hearing and non-hearing children, college students, staff at public and private school systems and businesses. She also shares one of my other passions and provides materials to Emergency Responders.

Sign language has opened myriad doors for my son in regard to communication. I believe American Sign Language can give a voice to all who struggle with language for many reasons.

EFT - A little more “alternative” than some other techniques, EFT can help parents overcome limiting beliefs, fears, and frustrations, as well as deal with any grief or overwhelm that accompanies have a special needs child. I have also worked with my son directly and helped him break through a huge block he had with self esteem. It may or may not be for you, but you’ve got nothing to lose if you want to check it out!

Many times we also do EFT while listening to Jeff Gold’s Escapes… another great calming and relaxing CD of original music.

What are your favorite tools? Do you use them at home or outside of the house?

Product Review: Escapes, Music for Relaxing by Jeff Gold

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I recently received a CD entitled “Escapes – Music for Relaxing” by Jeff Gold. It is described as “One hour of soothing instrumental music to uplift and revive you. As refreshing as a long walk along a perfect beach, ‘Escapes’ is the ideal tempo and rhythm for creative inspiration, massage, yoga, scenic drives or just winding down.”

This beautiful music – composed, performed and produced entirely by Jeff – is true to its word and then some. The chief reason I wanted it was to see how it might help my son relax, especially when he’s in the throes of a sensory meltdown. Ideally, when the flags pop up for an impending meltdown, it is the perfect time to see if I can head it off at the pass, so to speak!

Jeff’s compositions exceed my expectations in so many ways! His uncomplicated melodies and single instrument focus in each song (some piano, some guitar) not only help my son but actually inspire the entire family, including our six new puppies!

The number one benefit that I immediately witnessed was Justin’s focus while doing homework. Normally it takes over an hour to do about 20 minutes of actual work because of distractions, wandering, and plain old not wanting to do it. I put Escapes on softly and we zipped through all four subjects in less than 30 minutes without arguments or repeated prompting. If this were the ONLY outcome of having this CD I’d take it in a heartbeat! Everything else is icing ;)

Here are some other ways my family has enjoyed Jeff’s gifts:

  • Well, right now I’m listening to it so I can write this overdue blog post! “Smooth Sailing” is taking me on a journey, and I find that the words are starting to pour out faster with each swell of the music. I love it.
  • These days I am frequently overwhelmed with my growing To-Do list, multiple jobs, volunteer time with the Fire Department, and of course being a single mom to boot! This CD instantly takes me out of my head and into the present moment, where I need to be always. It literally takes my blood pressure down several notches along with my stress level. That’s a GOOD THING!
  • My teen daughter is able to complete more of her homeschool chapters when listening to Escapes. Of course she doesn’t realize this, but I am always watching!
  • Our new pups are now at the age (4 weeks) where they are crying for attention. A lot. All night. And all day. Did I mention I was exhausted? Anyway, their incessant whining causes Mama Dog to experience much distress, as she thinks something is wrong and tries to get them out of their contained area. The situation escalates pretty quickly. This morning I put the music next to the pen and the puppies went to sleep! Mama was able to go outside and enjoy the back deck for a while.
  • After school each day, my son and I do a rotation of Fitness 4 Autism (a fitness program I created based on Eric Chessen’s mentorship), yoga, and EFT sessions. This CD complements are sessions perfectly.
  • And let’s not forget bedtime! Parents, I KNOW you can relate to the many sleep issues that often accompany an Autism Spectrum Disorder. We love listening to Jeff’s music when doing our sensory routine before bed and during “tucking in” time to help wind down for the night.

Thank you, Jeff, for creating such inspiring and relaxing music. It continues to enhance our family’s activities daily and provides the perfect tool for Autism meltdowns, teen angst, parental overwhelm, and even puppy anxiety!

I highly recommend you go to JeffGoldMusic.com and get a copy!

Stay tuned for additional special reviews on Chewelry, a Kiboomu app for the iPhone, and two awesome eBooks from Zidlow Marx!

I do tricks already! Adopt me!

P.S. Wanna puppy?

Mommy’s Love Donation

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I always do my best to provide a positive, supportive and loving environment for my children. If you’ve read anything I’ve posted over the Social Web you know that I celebrate them as often as possible. Yet, at times, their self-image suffers.

My son is especially verbal about it. If I ask him to stop touching something in a store, or stop screaming in the living room, he immediately defaults to a mantra of, “I’m stupid. I’m dumb. I hate myself.” This is usually accompanied by smacking or punching himself in the head.

It kills me to see this.

I know that some of it is the effects of the turbulent trip to single parenting, and much of it is the rest of the world not quite comprehending what Sensory Integration issues he experiences with his Autism. His formative years were certainly laden with getting in trouble for “bad behavior” from teachers, daycare providers, churches, day camps, sports teams, and at times his own immediate family.

I have tried so many responses to this self-deprecating mantras, hoping to “fix” his self-esteem. (Any mother would think she has this power, ha!) From logical reasoning – pointing out his report card grades so he clearly can’t think he’s stupid – to begging him not to think that to good ol’ fashioned Italian-Jewish mom guilt (it really hurts Mommy when you say those things!)… nothing seemed to budge these repetitions. I’ve even desperately threatened mild punishments! But then he would just think it and be afraid to say it, so clearly that isn’t a solution.

We are working on some EFT sessions about this, but in the meantime I had the most profound experience one day with him. I was walking him into school as usual and I asked him to stop lifting the back of my shirt. Out came the usual, “I’m stupid. I hate myself.” Instead of my normal knee-jerk “how many times do we have to go over this” response, magical words escaped my lips!

“Justin, I know you don’t always feel like you love yourself. I’ll tell you what. I’m going to give you some of MY love to keep, because you seem to be running low right now. See, Mommy’s love never runs out and my heart always makes more, so it’s ok if I give you some.”

I proceeded to take an imaginary energy ball from my heart and handed it to him, where he promptly swallowed it like his favorite video game character, Yoshi would. I told him that anytime he was feeling stupid he could most certainly have some more of my love, because I always have some to spare just for him.

I will never forget the spring in his step I witnessed as he walked to class. Perhaps a little donation was all he needed.

FREE Sensory Integration Teleseminar JUNE 3!!

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  • Are you struggling with an Autistic child that screams all the time?

  • Do you have trouble calming your child at night?

  • Does your child on the Spectrum never seem to “wind down”?

  • How do you get the schools to cooperate and truly support your child?

  • Does your child spin, touch everything, appear over-sensitive to some things yet under-responds to others?

  • Are you frustrated with your child’s meltdowns in public places?

If you answered YES to any of these, I can help!

Whether you’re just discovering some unique “quirks” about your child that you’d like to explore further…

Whether your child has been newly (or even incorrectly) diagnosed and you’re feeling overwhelmed about what the next steps are…

Whether you’ve tried countless therapies, medications, or solutions with your child…

This call is for you. I want to help you understand and support your child with Sensory Processing issues.


Join me Thursday, June 3rd, starting at 10 am EST for a FREE teleseminar series with these AMAZING EXPERTS:

Experts have been featured in “Autism Tomorrow: The Complete Resource Guide to Help Your Child Thrive in the Real World”, Autism Society of America, Parent Magazine, WNBC TV, Philadelphia Business Journal, About Special Needs, Freedom at Your Fingertips, Try it on Everything (Documentary), the Sensory Integration Network in the UK and Ireland, and more!



In this content-rich teleseminar series the Experts will reveal:

•    How sensory integration is vital to how your child learns and functions
•    What your child may be experiencing when you think they are misbehaving
•    5 simple, yet effective tools to disarm the start of a sensory meltdown
•    What types of movements can improve cognitive functioning AND self-esteem
•    We know the five senses, but what are vestibular and proprioceptive functions?
•    A fun routine that may help calm your child at bedtime
•    What approach to take with your IEP meeting
•    How to address & support the emotions surrounding your situation – for your child,  siblings, and most importantly, for YOU

When the information we receive as sensory input through sights, sounds, touch, tastes, smells and movement fails to get properly interpreted, it can lead to a devastating reality. Children with Sensory Processing Disorder are often under assault by their own senses daily. They exhibit difficulty in daily functioning, social relationships, behavioral challenges, regulating emotions, self-esteem, and learning.

Wouldn’t you love to know more about these sensory processing issues and how they directly affect your child’s behavior so you can begin to offer compassion, support, and effective tools to help ease their struggle?

As a parent of a child with Autism, I’m committed to helping other parents through my years of personal research and by drawing from my resources, some of the top experts in Autism, Sensory Integration, and alternative healing methods. I can provide key insights, ease your frustration, and help you find the paths and tools that make the most sense for your family.

I can’t wait to see you on the call!

~ Debi

DENIED! Why am I Doing the Happy Dance?

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Six months ago I applied for SSI Disability to help me provide for my Autistic son. Meeting the income guidelines for this assistance, I jumped through all the required hoops of their dog and pony show. I supplied them with a 92-page history and timeline of all Justin’s diagnoses, school records, IEP copies, behavioral and developmental assessments, medication history (yes, I at one time investigated that route out of sheer desperation – a story for another day), and every behavior slip, suspension and punishment notice he’d ever received.

I saw their doctor. I followed up, week after week, inquiring about their decision. All the while, in my journey, I was learning about my son and Autism. I was not happy with the doctor visits, the medication attempt, the rigid recommendations, the books, the cookie-cutter approaches.

In this journey I came across a book by Dr. Robert Melillo called Disconnected Kids. Along with the centers he founded, this book offered a scientifically proven theory about a hemispheric imbalance in children with Autism, ADHD, Dyslexia, Tourette’s, and other disorders. I voraciously digested this information and began applying what I learned immediately. I tested and modified some of the sensory exercises and techniques. I expanded my research on the nutritional guidelines. I drew some new conclusions.

I began supplementing with EFT, teaching my son to tap and performing surrogate tapping when he could not. I also began graciously opening my heart and accepting the gifts of his beautiful mind. The docile nature of our beautiful Alaskan Malamute, Juno, has also had an extremely calming effect on him.

These things combined have changed our world. Oh, our journey is nowhere complete, as he still cannot tie his shoes or ride a bike; we still have days where a trip to the grocery store is a nightmare. It still takes an Act of Congress to get him ready in the morning on time for school. We are working on it, as I refine the techniques that have shown me hope and success. He is now able to smell and recognize scents; we can go to the movies and sit through an entire film; I don’t receive calls to pick him up from school early for being out of control… and he was denied for SSI.

According to my letter, “… the evidence does not show that these conditions are severe enough to be disabling. We have decided that Justin’s condition is not disabling under our rules.”

I’ve been denied, and I’m ecstatic! What mother would not want this kind of news?

Sleep Disorders and Autism

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Sleep disorders tend to go hand in hand with Autism. It is estimated that between 60% and 80% of Autistic children have difficulty sleeping. This can include trouble falling asleep, restlessness and poor sleep quality, thrashing about, and early rising. It continually baffles me that my child will have no noticeable changes in behavior whether he sleeps ten hours or four and three-eighths hours. In fact, a lack of a good night’s rest can sometimes affect everyone else in the family more than the child!

No known cause

There is no solid research on what causes sleep disorders in children with Autism. The two strongest theories are misinterpreted social cues and the irregular release of  the hormone melatonin.

People typically use their body’s circadian rhythms, the light and dark cycles, and social cues to know when it’s time to retire for the evening. We may see others getting ready for bed or have a sense of the next day’s schedule, which helps dictate the start of our bedtime ritual.

Children with Autism fail to understand social cues and the big picture. Even after clearly repeating my expectations to my son (e.g., ten more minutes of this card game and then you must brush your teeth), he will still start a new game when the timer goes off. He’s not stalling or manipulating me for a later bedtime. Boy do I spin myself in circles when I take the approach of uttering a long litany of my evening tasks and why I have to be on time the next day for a meeting! Yep. It’s like talking to a dashboard : ) It’s a good reminder for me to speak in clear and concise phrases and leave the rest to my silent mental gymnastics.

Additionally, the body uses melatonin to regulate sleep/wake cycles. It creates melatonin with the amino acid tryptophan, which has been found to be either higher or lower than normal in Autistic children. In a normal functioning system, the melatonin levels will rise at night and dip during the day, in response to the dark and light. Children with Autism don’t release this hormone at the correct times.

This coupled with sensitivity to outside stimuli can definitely play a large role in sleep disorders. Children with Autism also tend to wake abruptly to any light noise or movement once asleep. In my own house, I can vacuum next to my daughter’s head and she would continue sawing wood, whereas if I simply look at the bedroom door, contemplating checking on my son, he will sense it and pop up like a Whack-a-Mole carnival game. It’s always been like that, even when he was an infant.

Tips to get a better night’s rest

I find the best way to combat the sleep issue is by establishing a solid nighttime routine. In a perfect world, this would include a bath, reading stories, soft music, and consistent bedtimes. I do my best, but sometimes he just needs to wind down with a limited block of his favorite TV show.

Our absolute favorite nighttime ritual is “hot dog”: rolling him up in a blanket and using a yoga ball for deep compression on his back. We use different patterns as “toppings”, like circles are called onions, vertical rolling is called ketchup, etc. This is an instant calming tool that never disappoints. Finishing the routine with a recap of positive behavior for the day and a short EFT session is a surefire recipe for sleep success.

On that note, it’s almost 1 a.m. I should probably get some sleep!