Tag Archives: bedtime

autistic child worry

Why Won’t You Go to Sleep?!

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9 pm: the witching hour.

This is what a typical night in my house was like. Either the entire bedtime routine was a harrowing struggle or my son would go to bed willingly and get up every 7-1/2 minutes. Yes, really that often. Then, to add insult to injury, he would fall asleep just as my alarm went off at 5 am.

I did all the right things: the warm bath, stories, and bedtime milk… but by day six my “perfect” routine would transform into begging, threatening, bargaining, and sometimes even having a meltdown myself!

The worst part was when he kept me up all night literally bouncing off the walls, screaming, laughing, torturing the dogs, even torturing ME! If I did get to actually go to bed he would come into my room and climb all over me like I was a jungle gym, poke my face, stick his fingers up my nose, bounce on the bed, and giggle obnoxiously for HOURS. I used to think he was an android, because he would seemingly function perfectly the next day as if he required no sleep whatsoever.

It was killing me. Night after night after night after night of no sleep. When sleep deprivation is caused by another, even your innocent child that can’t help himself, the resentment builds and the patience lessens rapidly.

So I did something about it.

Now I want to help you do something about it, too!

It is estimated that between 60% and 80% of Autistic children have difficulty sleeping. This can include trouble falling asleep, restlessness and poor sleep quality, thrashing about, and early rising.

After spending month after month dealing with my son’s erratic and frustrating sleep patterns, I know and understand the challenges, hardships, and heartache associated with sleep deprivation. I also know the extreme health risks associated with sleep deprivation and insomnia, because I was experiencing them, and, even though it didn’t seem that way, so was my child.

After researching, experimenting, playing, and sometimes pulling my hair out, I found some really practical things that shifted our entire bedtime experience and brought sleep and peace back into my home! I was so excited about these solutions that I spent the last few months compiling them into one place so no one else has to live the way we were living night after night.

In my new book, 30 Ways To Get Your Child With Autism to Go to Sleep, I share everything I learned through months of research and trials and tribulations to not only cope with my son’s sleep struggles but to overcome them.

If you would like to learn things like:

✔ Sensory routines that instantly calm

✔ Suggestions for safe supplements to give your child

✔ Foods that may be making your child hyper and keeping him awake

✔ An ancient Chinese massage technique that greatly improves mood, behavior and sleep patterns

✔ How the color of your child’s room may set off unwanted stimulation

✔ Links to helpful resources and more

I encourage you to check out 30 Ways To Get Your Child With Autism to Go to Sleep.

Take back your nights and give yourself the gift of peace of mind and much needed downtime! YOU and your family deserve quality sleep and these tools will help you get it back!

Please share this post with other sleep-deprived families that struggle with bedtime, and send me your comments below or post on the SOA Facebook page to let me know which ones worked best for you!

Product Review: Escapes, Music for Relaxing by Jeff Gold

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I recently received a CD entitled “Escapes – Music for Relaxing” by Jeff Gold. It is described as “One hour of soothing instrumental music to uplift and revive you. As refreshing as a long walk along a perfect beach, ‘Escapes’ is the ideal tempo and rhythm for creative inspiration, massage, yoga, scenic drives or just winding down.”

This beautiful music – composed, performed and produced entirely by Jeff – is true to its word and then some. The chief reason I wanted it was to see how it might help my son relax, especially when he’s in the throes of a sensory meltdown. Ideally, when the flags pop up for an impending meltdown, it is the perfect time to see if I can head it off at the pass, so to speak!

Jeff’s compositions exceed my expectations in so many ways! His uncomplicated melodies and single instrument focus in each song (some piano, some guitar) not only help my son but actually inspire the entire family, including our six new puppies!

The number one benefit that I immediately witnessed was Justin’s focus while doing homework. Normally it takes over an hour to do about 20 minutes of actual work because of distractions, wandering, and plain old not wanting to do it. I put Escapes on softly and we zipped through all four subjects in less than 30 minutes without arguments or repeated prompting. If this were the ONLY outcome of having this CD I’d take it in a heartbeat! Everything else is icing ;)

Here are some other ways my family has enjoyed Jeff’s gifts:

  • Well, right now I’m listening to it so I can write this overdue blog post! “Smooth Sailing” is taking me on a journey, and I find that the words are starting to pour out faster with each swell of the music. I love it.
  • These days I am frequently overwhelmed with my growing To-Do list, multiple jobs, volunteer time with the Fire Department, and of course being a single mom to boot! This CD instantly takes me out of my head and into the present moment, where I need to be always. It literally takes my blood pressure down several notches along with my stress level. That’s a GOOD THING!
  • My teen daughter is able to complete more of her homeschool chapters when listening to Escapes. Of course she doesn’t realize this, but I am always watching!
  • Our new pups are now at the age (4 weeks) where they are crying for attention. A lot. All night. And all day. Did I mention I was exhausted? Anyway, their incessant whining causes Mama Dog to experience much distress, as she thinks something is wrong and tries to get them out of their contained area. The situation escalates pretty quickly. This morning I put the music next to the pen and the puppies went to sleep! Mama was able to go outside and enjoy the back deck for a while.
  • After school each day, my son and I do a rotation of Fitness 4 Autism (a fitness program I created based on Eric Chessen’s mentorship), yoga, and EFT sessions. This CD complements are sessions perfectly.
  • And let’s not forget bedtime! Parents, I KNOW you can relate to the many sleep issues that often accompany an Autism Spectrum Disorder. We love listening to Jeff’s music when doing our sensory routine before bed and during “tucking in” time to help wind down for the night.

Thank you, Jeff, for creating such inspiring and relaxing music. It continues to enhance our family’s activities daily and provides the perfect tool for Autism meltdowns, teen angst, parental overwhelm, and even puppy anxiety!

I highly recommend you go to JeffGoldMusic.com and get a copy!

Stay tuned for additional special reviews on Chewelry, a Kiboomu app for the iPhone, and two awesome eBooks from Zidlow Marx!

I do tricks already! Adopt me!

P.S. Wanna puppy?

Sleep Disorders and Autism

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Sleep disorders tend to go hand in hand with Autism. It is estimated that between 60% and 80% of Autistic children have difficulty sleeping. This can include trouble falling asleep, restlessness and poor sleep quality, thrashing about, and early rising. It continually baffles me that my child will have no noticeable changes in behavior whether he sleeps ten hours or four and three-eighths hours. In fact, a lack of a good night’s rest can sometimes affect everyone else in the family more than the child!

No known cause

There is no solid research on what causes sleep disorders in children with Autism. The two strongest theories are misinterpreted social cues and the irregular release of  the hormone melatonin.

People typically use their body’s circadian rhythms, the light and dark cycles, and social cues to know when it’s time to retire for the evening. We may see others getting ready for bed or have a sense of the next day’s schedule, which helps dictate the start of our bedtime ritual.

Children with Autism fail to understand social cues and the big picture. Even after clearly repeating my expectations to my son (e.g., ten more minutes of this card game and then you must brush your teeth), he will still start a new game when the timer goes off. He’s not stalling or manipulating me for a later bedtime. Boy do I spin myself in circles when I take the approach of uttering a long litany of my evening tasks and why I have to be on time the next day for a meeting! Yep. It’s like talking to a dashboard : ) It’s a good reminder for me to speak in clear and concise phrases and leave the rest to my silent mental gymnastics.

Additionally, the body uses melatonin to regulate sleep/wake cycles. It creates melatonin with the amino acid tryptophan, which has been found to be either higher or lower than normal in Autistic children. In a normal functioning system, the melatonin levels will rise at night and dip during the day, in response to the dark and light. Children with Autism don’t release this hormone at the correct times.

This coupled with sensitivity to outside stimuli can definitely play a large role in sleep disorders. Children with Autism also tend to wake abruptly to any light noise or movement once asleep. In my own house, I can vacuum next to my daughter’s head and she would continue sawing wood, whereas if I simply look at the bedroom door, contemplating checking on my son, he will sense it and pop up like a Whack-a-Mole carnival game. It’s always been like that, even when he was an infant.

Tips to get a better night’s rest

I find the best way to combat the sleep issue is by establishing a solid nighttime routine. In a perfect world, this would include a bath, reading stories, soft music, and consistent bedtimes. I do my best, but sometimes he just needs to wind down with a limited block of his favorite TV show.

Our absolute favorite nighttime ritual is “hot dog”: rolling him up in a blanket and using a yoga ball for deep compression on his back. We use different patterns as “toppings”, like circles are called onions, vertical rolling is called ketchup, etc. This is an instant calming tool that never disappoints. Finishing the routine with a recap of positive behavior for the day and a short EFT session is a surefire recipe for sleep success.

On that note, it’s almost 1 a.m. I should probably get some sleep!