Category Archives: Tips & Tools

Spirit of Autism Puberty

Puberty, Autism and Emotional Shutdowns

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Spirit of Autism Puberty“The universe hates me!”

My son came stomping out of his room and collapsed onto the floor, heaving a huge sigh of frustration.

Unfortunately, this is not a new scene in my house, as I also have a 16-year old daughter. ‘Nuff said. But more importantly, puberty and autism can create a vicious cocktail that seems to bring on extremely magnified sensory issues, increased hyperactivity, regressive behaviors, and a whole lot of unexplained emotions. My boy just turned 12, but we started experiencing a profusion of puberty related issues as early as nine.

“The universe is incapable of hating, sweetie. What’s wrong?”

Evidently he had built a statue of his Minecraft skin in one of the game’s worlds and he told me that his friend destroyed it.  Minecraft is a unique multiplayer computer game where you learn survival skills and build custom worlds. The creative and building aspects of Minecraft allow players to build constructions out of textured cubes in a 3D world.

First and foremost, I was extremely proud of his ability to articulate to me that he was upset, the reason he was upset, and that he had worked very hard on the statue and it had taken him a long time. This is a HUGE milestone for us! But before we had a chance to begin talking about it, everything started going wrong for him. Everything he touched seemed to break or malfunction. He tried to pet the dogs and they ran away from him. His sister yelled at him for seemingly no reason.

I know from experience that when you have the “everything sucks” filter on, your experiences will follow suit. You know, like when you start out having a bad day it seems that your car won’t start, you spill coffee on yourself, you mess up a client proposal… have you ever had a day like that?

So the first thing I had to do was help diffuse his “universe hates me” perspective, starting with three deep and centering breaths together.

Delayed responses are another typical experience for Autistic children, and once I thought he was in a calmer place (about 30 minutes later), he started crying uncontrollably about the loss of his statue. It was that real guttural crying, too; I felt horrible. I consoled him and acknowledged that he felt upset that his statue was destroyed.

We then talked about choices. I told him he could either play one of his other favorite games (offline) to help get his mind off of it for now or he could choose to talk to his friend and tell him that his feelings were hurt. He could ask him why he destroyed the statue and open the lines of communication.

He had already removed his friend from his Skype list and blocked him from his server! His impulsivity coupled with an intensity of emotions he wasn’t accustomed to had caused him to overreact and shut down.

Once the tears were dry, we played a game called “5 Other Things”. I learned this gold nugget of a coping skill as a teenager and it’s never failed me. The idea is that it’s not what happens to us that causes emotional distress, rather our interpretation of it.  For instance, if a person doesn’t show up for a meeting with me I might immediately feel hurt and angry, assuming I had been blown off. This could rapidly lead to a barrage of negative thoughts: “Did they even INTEND to show up? Am I not good enough for a simple text or phone call letting me know? Who do they think they are?!” etc.

“5 Other Things” forces you to step outside of that neural pattern and look at some other possibilities for the event in question. Was there a family emergency? Are they simply running late? Car trouble? Did one of us write down the wrong day?

Naturally, if someone does this sort of thing to you regularly, “5 Other Things” is not the answer… getting a new friend is J

Being that my son didn’t SEE his statue being destroyed (it was simply gone when he logged back in to the server), we looked at some other possibilities:

  • Did another person playing on that server do it?
  • Did the game malfunction somehow?
  • Could his friend have accidentally done it?
  • Was the site hacked?
  • Did aliens land on earth and destroy all human forms of online entertainment? (Silly can be good if you’re trying to break neural patterns!)

“5 Other Things” worked! After some investigating (and a proven screenshot alibi of the suspect, ha!) he and his NOW UNBLOCKED friend discovered that the server crashed and the world was restored from an earlier version… before he had built the statue.

What a great learning opportunity this was for us! When puberty, autism and emotional shutdowns occur, we now have a blueprint:

  1. Take three deep breaths together
  2. Encourage him to share what is wrong, and praise him for being able to name it
  3. Help diffuse the “everything sucks” filter or mindset
  4. Acknowledge the feelings he is experiencing without judgment or criticism
  5. Play the “5 Other Things” game – without fear of getting a little silly!
Spirit of autism stim

Why Do They Stim?

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Spirit of autism stimAs a caregiver, educator, or even parent of a child with Autism, you’re most likely accustomed to witnessing some repetitive behaviors on a regular basis that seem odd… and even make you feel a little uncomfortable.

Whether or not you are familiar with the term “stimming” (short for “self-stimulation”), you’ve probably seen it in the form of hand or arm flapping, spinning, rocking back and forth, or self-injurious versions like hitting or biting oneself.

Stimming can also be verbal. It’s not uncommon to hear repetitive squealing, screaming, or sound effects coming from a child with Autism. In fact, one of my son’s favorite noises can be heard here (speakers DOWN, trust me!) :   The neighbors have actually called the police in response to hearing that one on a summer day when his bedroom windows happened to be open. They thought he was in a life-threatening situation!

Yes, some days my son’s stimming can be enough to turn my hair grey. But then I think, if it’s this hard for me to deal with his noises and repetitive behaviors… what is HE going through? How hard is it for HIM to deal with his environment?

Why do they stim?

One of the biggest reasons is to counteract an overwhelming sensory environment. 

We don’t just have five senses, like we were taught in school. We actually receive sensory input through sights, sounds, touch, tastes, smells, movement and balance, body position and muscle control.

Difficulty interpreting the input leads to devastating consequences with:

  • Interactions with others
  • Daily functioning
  • Behavior
  • Regulating emotions
  • Learning
  • Social relationships

Stimming is a way to retreat and relieve the pain and overwhelm of your surroundings.

It also alleviates high levels of anxiety felt daily. If you had to spend most of your energy trying to process and block out painful noises, lights, smells, and textures how much focus would you have left for daily tasks, learning and growth?

Stimming helps to refocus and realign. The ability to create order and routine from the chaos of your surroundings is sometimes as easy as spinning in an office chair or rocking back and forth.

It’s soothing. I always found it strange that my son hears things ten times louder than I do and noises like the school bell are painful, yet when he screams or squeals it somehow calms him. But it’s true. Many adults with Autism have told me the same – it feels good.

It’s like a steam pressure valve. What happens when a valve stays closed and the pressure builds up with no release? Yup! Nuclear meltdown…

One of the biggest points I like to make when I train Emergency Responders – who certainly can mistake stimming for drug use, mental illness or non-compliance – is that they should NEVER try to stop someone from stimming unless they are hurting themselves or others.

Imagine telling a blind person not to put their arms out to find their way around a room, just because it looked “weird” or made us uncomfortable. That’s how I view stimming – it’s necessary for my son to function at this time. Now that I’m able to better understand his experience, I’m not nearly as stressed by it – but we DO work on redirection and (sometimes) going to a designated place to stim freely. It helps him identify with his own body’s needs, which ultimately gives him more confidence and self awareness.

When you think about it – how many of you bite your nails, tap your foot, drum with a pen, scratch or even pick at things when you’re stressed? I know I do some of those! Isn’t that a form of stimming? Yeah, we all kinda stim in our own way, don’t we?

Do you struggle with your child or student’s stimming behaviors? Share by commenting below or posting on the SOA Facebook page!

spirit of autism sensory

It’s All About the Sensory

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spirit of autism sensoryOkay, not ALL… but sensory issues play a bigger role in the daily lives of children with Autism than you might think.

I have always tried to explain this to the adults, teachers, caretakers, and yes, even physicians in my son’s life, who insisted that my child needed to be medicated for hyperactive and impulsive behavior.

There were certainly quirky and challenging things about him, even from birth. But I also had a girl first; so many of his odd behaviors were instantly dismissed as “boy stuff.” The real trouble started when he went to Pre-K and had to transition to different activities, sit quietly in circle time, and interact with a group of peers.

I remember waiting months to see a highly-acclaimed pediatric neurologist before my son was officially diagnosed with Autism. He was four at the time. For our long-awaited appointment, we were in the waiting room for an hour and in the doctor’s office waiting for another hour. What four-year-old would NOT be climbing up the walls at that point?

The doctor came in and promptly spent 10 minutes with us.

“Write your name.”

“Stand on one foot and hop.”

“Copy this drawing of a tree.”

“Ma’am, your son has ADHD, fine motor dyspraxia, ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder), and maybe some sensory stuff going on. Here’s your prescription for Adderall. See you in six months.”

Whoa… wha? Oppositional DEFIANT Disorder? He’s FOUR! When my daughter was four I practically wanted to SELL her! (Kidding. Mostly.) Of COURSE he was hyper! We just waited TWO hours to see him! And what’s with the meds? No explanation of any of these “disorders”? No constructive suggestions? No support or help?

Nope.

I researched all of the labels that supposedly defined my baby boy. Yes, he was hyperactive, but the first one that really grabbed my attention was sensory processing disorder. I went through a checklist and instantly started understanding my son and the world he lives in. Many of those “quirks” were a direct stress-response to how he interprets all the sensory input from his day-to-day environment.

We had an entire sensory evaluation done with a different specialist, and eventually arrived at the Autism diagnosis.

Once I started to differentiate between “My body hurts, I’m exploding inside and need help” and “I’m being a boy and testing my boundaries” my whole world changed, and so did my son’s.

The school system did not follow suit, unfortunately. During our IEP (Individualized Education Program) meetings I provided all of his sensory triggers in a document, what calming methods worked for us, and physical toys and music that he could keep in his private break area at school. The Special Education Director for the district continued to try and strongly suggest he be medicated.

I was actually told in one of these meetings that I was the type of mother that would deny my child insulin if he had Diabetes just because I wouldn’t put him on Adderall or Ritalin. Unbelievable!

I calmly repeated, “We need to start here, with these sensory issues. It is tangible – you can SEE he is struggling in direct response to these triggers. Why not start with what we know and work out from there? Let’s see what behaviors are left after we address some of these root causes and we can re-evaluate from there.”

Although I finally began homeschooling my son after years of battling with the school, this information is still critical. Almost every outburst, meltdown, or seemingly “defiant” behavior can be traced down to a sensory problem my son is experiencing at the moment.

Recently I ran across Asperger Experts – two young men with Asperger’s Syndrome that have navigated their way through the roughest times of childhood and adolescence and are now helping parents and educators do the same.

They have a program called “Fundamentals For Thriving Bundle.” It’s been extremely helpful for me to continue to understand, teach and support my son in a way that he is most receptive.

They published a video called, “The Sensory Funnel.” It’s a MUST-SEE if you want to learn more about your child’s or student’s sensory issues, how they affect day-to-day living, and what you can do to help him or her succeed.

Watch the video below and let me know your thoughts! I’d love to hear if it clicked for you like it did for me, and any other comments, successes or struggles you’re going through right now!

SOA Wake Up Call

A Bad Dream or a Wake Up Call?

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SOA Wake Up CallI had a nice article lined up for you today about Minecraft and life skills, but something happened to me this morning that I felt HAD to share with you. It’s a very personal experience and I’m really baring it all… I hope you don’t mind.

I awakened at 3 am, which has been happening for nearly three weeks for some reason. I performed my newly created middle-of-the-night rituals: glass of water, briefly let the dogs out, interacted with my teens (who are still up at that hour!), and became wrapped up in an episode of Law and Order SVU, which always seems to be airing on one of the crime channels in my cable rotation.

Trying to fall asleep to a crime drama is another story, so when panic set in about how much slumber I could squeeze in before my 5 am alarm I switched to the “Soundscapes” music channel and tried desperately to quiet my mind.

During that time I had an experience that rocked my very core.

I was fading in and out of sleep – you know that place where you’re dreaming but still aware of sounds and activity in your environment? That sort of sleep “purgatory”, if you will.

In the first part of the short dream, someone was outside our living room window, mowing our lawn, and the dogs were alert and circling like they do when a stranger is near our property. I remember thinking that my landlord had just mowed (which was true), so who was this person mowing my yard for a second time this week? Especially in December?

At this point, I could feel myself hyperventilating a bit in real life, sort of like when you’re dreaming that someone’s chasing you and you wake up out of breath – your body believes your dreams are real and tends to respond accordingly.

The next segment of the dream paralleled real life: I was lying in my bed trying to get back to sleep before my alarm went off. I was relaxing and drifting… then a wave of paralysis washed over me and I was sinking fast into darkness.

I liken this feeling to a time when I was hospitalized for a bad reaction to a diet pill and was given morphine in my IV to calm my racing heart. I felt the same paralysis wash over me and I couldn’t STAND it. I felt like I had no control of my body and was slipping away fast. How do people get addicted to that stuff, anyway? Who would want to feel so out of control voluntarily?

In the dream I was now falling fast into unconsciousness and I knew deep inside that if I gave in to it I would transition to the non-physical world. I tried to yell, “NO!” and violently shake myself out of it, but no words came. My head was made of cement and my eyelids were unbearably heavy.

I looked at the wall and saw a symbol of a dove SOA dove symbolappear (similar the kind you see in a Catholic church). I knew this meant death was here to collect me. “NO! Wake up NOW! I want to live!” I desperately tried to reason with my body.

More drifting. Panic. Fear. Fighting to keep my spirit anchored in my physical form… I could feel it stretching and rising and I was not ready. I AM NOT READY. I have so much work to do here. My children would go to into foster care. My dogs would get sent to a kill shelter. No. NO!

I managed to open my eyes and on the wall again briefly appeared a light blue poster that revealed a funny stick person and seven words: Appreciate Life One Day at a Time.

I yelled, “I will. I WILL!” My voice was back. And my alarm was going off.

I felt like Ebenezer Scrooge waking up to reclaim his life on Christmas. Not quite as joyful (yet!), but definitely resigned to looking at the choices I’ve made: the ones that are making me stressed, angry, and feeling hopeless these days.

“But this is an Autism Blog… how does this help me with my child?”

I learn from my beautiful boy every day. Perhaps two of the biggest lessons I keeping forgetting are these:

He lives in the NOW

He is wired for his own happiness

Due to my myriad freelance jobs we don’t currently have days off or vacation time, but he is happy. He Skypes with children all over the world. He sings, hums and laughs all day long. When he feels a surge of energy he gets up and runs around. When he feels mellow he shuts down his computer and draws. When he wants connection he hugs me and tells me he loves me. When he is hungry, he eats.

He does not compare himself to other children or worry about what people think of him. If someone is mistreating him, he simply chooses not to be around them. He doesn’t have a committee in his head that debates and struggles between letting someone down, putting himself last and building resentment because of it, and getting his needs met. He seeks pleasure and avoids pain. He is true to his gifts and strengths and accepts his shortcomings but doesn’t give up on improving them.

Was this experience this morning a wake up call for me to start living in the now? Stop putting myself last? Stop feeling so damned depressed (the holidays are the hardest for me every year)? Get more serious about my training work in the Autism community so I can be more fulfilled and present for my children? Make room for and attract friends and a support network?

What do you think? Was it real or just a dream? Either way, there was a message in it. Have you had any experience like this? I’d love to hear your thoughts or personal stories! Share by commenting below, on the SOA Facebook page, or by privately dropping me a line.

SOA Siblings

5 Ways to Include Neurotypical Siblings

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SOA Siblings“It’s not fair! You always talk about Autism, Autism, Autism! You always write about him on your Blog and put his pictures everywhere!”

My firstborn isn’t playing the favorites card, she’s a little sensitive about Autism. Especially since my website, training classes, workshops and marketing materials use stories and facts about her brother as their framework. Sure, I can remind her about all the special privileges she receives as the eldest and the times we go places together without her brother. But that isn’t what she wants to hear. She wants to know that she’s valued, unique, and most of all, heard.

Here are some ways to make sure siblings feel included.

1. Don’t keep them in the dark.

The unknown is scary to children – especially when it’s surrounded by energy that may be tense and anxious. They are extremely sensitive to your feelings, so sugar coating or avoiding the subject of Autism in the home causes disharmony instead of protecting your child’s feelings.

Additionally, you should be open (in an age appropriate way) about what’s behind certain behaviors and that they are rarely, if ever intentional. Impulsivity and Sensory Processing issues can be hard to explain, but there are some amazing children’s books out on the subject of siblings and Autism. It’s a great place to start.

2. Consistent rewards.

It’s easy to get caught up in praising your child with Autism for every mark of progress and milestone. It is necessary. You may be missing the fact that the sibling is also counting every reward… and if the score isn’t evened they will remember.

Find a way to celebrate and recognize every achievement from all of your children.

This can also go the other way: many times my daughter will feel that her brother doesn’t get a just punishment for something she may have gotten in trouble for previously. Situations like that can indeed be a sticky-wicket, as your child with ASD rarely breaks rules intentionally. Unwanted behaviors still need to be addressed, and it helps to explain to siblings that discipline may be unique to each family member but no one is “getting away with it”.

3. Sibling-only time.

Often parenting our child with Autism requires an unequal amount time and energy for that child. It’s so important to schedule regular one-on-one time with your neurotypical child. Whether it’s a ritual of ten-minute blocks each night before bed or a once a week “girls night out” (in my case it’s my daughter), this time is to be treasured together.

4. Perspective and participation.

There are times when I’m truly stumped on one of my son’s behaviors that affect the entire family dynamic. Without sending her the message that I need her to solve the problem, sometimes I ask for my daughter’s perspective. She can throw some fresh ideas on the table that I may not have considered. Again, I never make her participate if she doesn’t want to or cause her to feel that she has to have the solution. She does appreciate that I value her opinion and viewpoint.

5. Support and expectations.

It’s important for siblings to feel that they are not alone in their experiences. There are many sibling support groups to share their struggles and feelings, but don’t force it. In our case, my daughter had a good time visiting one of our local groups but quickly discovered that being with people that focus on talking about her brother still makes her feel like the world revolves around him. She flourishes when involved in groups or classes that are uniquely hers, like her art community and comedy improve classes.

Equally as important, do not expect your child to be overly responsible for the child with Autism. Unrealistic expectations can lay an unbearable amount of pressure on siblings. This isn’t a free pass to skirt all family responsibility; check in often and encourage open communication throughout the journey.

What are some ways that you keep siblings out of the shadows and keep things “fair” in your house? Share by commenting  below or on the SOA Facebook page!

Spirit of Autism Halloween Safety

Halloween Safety Tips for Your Child with Autism

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Halloween can be a pretty overwhelming for a child with autism. Heck, it’s overwhelming for ME – add to the mix sensory-aggravating costumes, spooky lights and decorations, crowds of loud children on the streets, and possible sugar and chemical dye sensitivities from loads of candy… and you may have created the perfect recipe of a meltdown.

Here are some tips for a safe and enjoyable Halloween for your child with autism:

 

Costumes

Let your child practice wearing their costume at home for at least a week in advance. This gives you time to make any last minute modifications and time for your child to get used to it. I wish I had a nickel for all the times it took me to learn this one.

 

Avoid costumes with masks or hats that restrict sight or movement. It may be worth it to start with an item of your child’s own clothing or a Halloween t-shirt. Also avoid costumes that require extra accessories – your child will not want to carry them for long and they also may contribute to tripping or other safety hazards. Trust me on this one.

 

Last year we did a simple pair of baggy overalls and my son’s red shirt with a pre-bought Mario hat and white gloves. Easy, comfortable and everyone recognized his character!

 

This year my son is (possibly) bold enough to try a box on his head to be a character from Minecraft. With large eyeholes, this is mom-approved, as we can easily fill in the rest of the costume with a solid colored sweatshirt and matching sweatpants.

 

Trick-or-Treating

Be aware of which homes in your neighborhood have displays with lots of gore and special effects (our house… oops!) so you can avoid them.

 

Use repeated social stories for safety tips about crossing the street. In addition, carry glow sticks and a flashlight if you are going out in the dark.

 

If your child is nonverbal, make sure he or she wears some type of obvious identification. We love QR Code ID – which is printed right on the child’s clothing! My son will not keep a bracelet, ID tag, or watch on long enough for it to do its job.

Also, I have been seeing this wonderful picture circulating around my social media networks – what a great idea:

Create a visual schedule that includes a map of where you will go. It’s also a great idea to practice trick-or-treating at home the week before Halloween: take turns answering the door to give out the candy and being the trick-or-treater.

 

Don’t try to hit every single house in your neighborhood. Keep trick or treating short and comfortable for your child. Consider letting siblings that might want to go longer go trick-or-treating with a friend.

 

The Swag

Make a plan for how you will handle candy consumption. A gluten or dairy intolerance may be an issue with Halloween treats, as are food dyes and extra sugar. Decide the candy-eating rules in advance and write them down.

 

For those that avoid animal products in general, here is the The 2013 VegNews Guide to Vegan Candy (hot off the press!).

 

After Halloween, don’t relax your safety routines! Watch the doors and windows extra closely. I’ve heard from other parents that their child continued to trick-or-treat on their own the next day or following week.

 

I hope these tips help you have a safe and fun Halloween! What tips and routines do you use in your house for trick-or-treating? Share by commenting below!

autism bullying

How Safe Is Your Autistic Child from Being Bullied?

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Going through the school system today is harder than ever for our children, especially with the increased pressures of test scores, the lack of recess or gym in many schools, and the barrage of ridiculous standards that seem to be set by social media.

As parent of a child on the Autism Spectrum, I want my son to have the best possible experiences – academically, developmentally, and socially.  But when it comes to making friends and fitting in, bullying can be a real threat for him. Especially since he is so sweet and kind by nature and is quick to believe everything at face value.

SIDE NOTE: It is this innocence that also makes your child with Autism a vulnerable target for online predators! Read about our experience with an internet hacker here.

Bullying doesn’t always mean getting beat up for  lunch money. It could show up in the form of manipulating my son to perform an action or say something that will get them in trouble in class. It could look like another child coercing him to hand over his dessert every day in exchange for letting him sit next to him. And it most certainly can rear its ugly head with any words that make my child feel like he is somehow less than the other kids around him.

In the first few grades of elementary school, it was easy to explain my son’s differences to his peers. When he covered his ears to block out the painful school bell sound I simply told his classmates that he had super-sonic hearing! When he jumped up and down and couldn’t sit still in circle time I exclaimed that he was exercising his special springy legs for some Mario power jumps later on. Little tricks like that were accepted.

Now my child is 11, wears men’s medium clothes and sports a mustache.  It’s not as easy to step in and offer plausible explanations for some of his quirks. He needs real tools and strategies that can help, not a helicopter mom following him around :)

What does work?

In Growing Up on the Spectrum: A Guide to Life, Love, and Learning for Teens and Young Adults with Autism and Asperger’s, Dr. Lynn Kern Koegel and Claire LaZebnik offer some practical suggestions for helping your child on the spectrum feel safe in every environment. Here are a few of our favorites:

Checking in. If your child is at the age when he doesn’t want a parent around at school, making a point of dropping off that missed homework or forgotten lunch at a social time of day (such as lunch) will help you understand how your child is faring in his social interactions and may give you some hints about what social skills you need to work on at home.

After school clubbing. Help your child get involved in a club, even if you have to start it yourself. It will give your child the opportunity to interact with peers who have similar interests. What is your child really good at? Can he teach or demonstrate those gifts to his peers? Make it happen!

Party time. Have short get-togethers or parties that are structured around an activity. We have had tons of fun with a short “Make Your Own Pizza Bagel” party (I cut out sliced cheeses in the shape of Super Mario characters to go on top of the mozzarella) or “Design Your Own Pokemon” party with simple index cards and markers. Now that he is older we have Minecraft and Wii-U gatherings.

Buddy system. Find a peer buddy who will help your child safely get to classes. Recruit some kind-hearted kids to be a buddy to your child and accompany him through the hallways.

Educate them. Teach the students at your child’s school about disabilities. Even with a special needs department and inclusion programs in many schools, there is still a staggering lack of training and understanding. It shouldn’t stop with the teachers and staff. If peers are made aware of your child’s challenges and how he’s struggling to overcome them, they’ll be far more likely to lend him a hand.

Lessons about how to be a friend. There are a lot of ways that you can teach your child to make and maintain friendships. Sharing is one. Asking questions is another. Good phone and electronic etiquette are essential. If your child is on the spectrum, she may need help with these areas. I know mine does!

Multiple choice responses. There are times when the best response to a bully is ignoring them and there are other times when standing up to a bully may be the only option. Many schools have mediators who can tackle the situation from both sides. Use social stories to teach your child how to differentiate appropriate responses based on the situation at hand. My son responds to code systems when it comes to choosing appropriate responses. We have code words and numbers for almost every emotion and typical responses to certain situations.

How about you? What strategies do you use to avoid or address bullying with your child?

Share by commenting below or posting your thoughts on our Facebook page!

autism summer safety tips

Summer Safety Tips for Parents of Children with Autism

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Summertime,

And the livin’ is easy…

Well, that doesn’t always ring true for parents of Autistic children! Safety concerns become heightened when the weather turns nice and schedules are more lax.

Having an Autistic son has brought things I’d never before imagined having to be prepared for into my experience. Here are some safety tips I’ve pulled from my own experiences and some great ideas from May Institute that can help you be prepared so you can relax and enjoy the summer with your child.

Water safety

Drowning is the number one cause of death in autistic children. Many children with Autism are powerfully drawn to the water but do not understand the dangers.

Always be within arm’s reach of the child when he or she is in or around any open water. Be sure to drain bathtubs and other small containers of water when you are finished using them – a child can drown in an inch of water. Put safety locks on toilet seats and hot tubs and monitor or cover landscape ponds if you can.

Teach your child to swim as early as possible. If they struggle with traditional swimming strokes, they can learn a water survival technique called drownproofing, which will help them stay afloat until help arrives.

Wandering prevention

Children with ASD are likely to act impulsively, including running away or wandering.

Use deadbolt locks, keep doors and windows locked and install an alarm on doors. Motion detectors and window bars may also be appropriate.

For children who respond well to visual cues, consider placing STOP or DO NOT ENTER signs on all doors that open to the outside. These can be powerful reminders.

You can find seven more vital tips for wandering prevention, including the use of QR Code apparel in this article.

Getting your information to emergency responders

If it is available in your area, register your family on Smart911. Whether an Autistic child has wandered, is having a medical emergency, or a behavioral emergency, it is vital to communicate that they have Autism and understand the response may require very specific actions.

Participate in local community safety fairs where there are opportunities to meet actual police, firefighters, and emergency response professionals that work in your community in an environment that is friendly and fun. This may increase the chances that your child will respond positively to first responders in the future.

If available, submit a disability indicator form to your local law enforcement agency to help alert law enforcement that a person residing at that address may require special assistance during an emergency. You can also create a more detailed handout with information about your child and have printed and electronic formats available so you can readily provide it to search and rescue personnel in the event of an incident.

It’s also a good idea to give your neighbors a handout with a picture of your child and emergency contact information. It should describe effective ways to approach, communicate with, and calm your child. Ask them to contact you immediately if they see your child outside your home or property.

How about you? What summer safety tips work in your home? Share by commenting below or posting to the SOA Facebook page!

autism visual strategies

Two Simple Visual Strategies You’ll Use All The Time – via Behavior Communicates

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I recently ran across a brilliant video from Carla Butorac with BehaviorCommunicates.com that teaches two simple visual strategies that help remind us as parents and teachers to cut the verbal and go visual with our children.

If you find yourself telling a child to do something over and over and over (my son) and they don’t comply, you need to go visual and SHOW them!

This video illustrates two simple examples of visuals you can use in the classroom or at home. The first is called FIRST and THEN; the second visual is called a token board.

Take a look at the video to see what this looks like!

I can’t wait to employ these ASAP to help Justin stay on track, especially since I homeschool. Give them a try and let me know how it goes by commenting below or posting to the SOA Facebook page!

You’ll also want to head over to Carla’s website, BehaviorCommunicates.com, to learn some more amazing tips like how to teach a child with Autism to play!

autism wandering child

7 Vital Tips for Autism Wandering Prevention

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My son was 18 months old. He was standing next to my bed, humming, as I was folding laundry and separating the piles. Then he walked out. In the time it took me to fold a pair of jeans, the child had walked to the other end of the house, found my keys, figured out which one was the car key (!), went outside, opened the trunk, and climbed in.

When he was in First Grade, I dropped him off at school, walked halfway to his class with him, then went on my merry way after kisses and high fives like usual. It just so happened that I forgot something from the house that day. Coincidentally, I also needed gas and went left instead of right, passing the school once again. About four blocks from the school, in a direction I normally never would have traveled, was my son, walking with his backpack and singing, without a care in the world. He apparently walked right out of the building after we parted in the hallway, and the teacher assumed he was absent that day. No one knew! Imagine what could have happened if I had turned right like I always did!

Here are 7 tips if your child is prone to wandering

  1. Safety-proof your home. Home should be a safe haven. In addition to traditional childproofing for small children, you will have to take some extra measures for your child with Autism.
  2. Install door alarms. Many children with Autism are prone to wandering. Alarms offer great back up protection.
  3. Arm your child with a form of communication. Whether your child is verbal or non-verbal, communication is a challenge. Create a visual safety book for your child with key questions and answers he or she may be asked in an emergency situation. Practice, practice, practice!
  4. Get to know your neighbors. It’s a good idea to introduce yourself and your child to your neighbors. You can explain what Autism is, along with some of your child’s behaviors that would strike other people as odd. This way they will call you instead of the police, or help direct your child home if found wandering.
  5. Register your child with public safety. Contact your local police precinct, fire department, and hospital and register your child with their database of special needs families.
  6. Use social stories. Teach your child how to handle emergency situations like fire, burglary, strangers at the door, when someone is hurt, and calling 911.
  7. Get QR Code iD apparel for your child and subscribe to their website.

What is QR Code iD?

People who have Autism, cognitive disabilities or other special needs or health issues may be unable to state personal information such as name, phone number, address, medications taken, where Mom and Dad work, issues peculiar to that day, the hotel where the family is staying on vacation, etc.

If your child is lost or wanders, rescuers need to know who to call, and how to help.

QR Code iD creates a way to put this information in one place. This information is accessed from any computer browser, either by entering the URL manually with the computer keyboard, or by scanning a QR code printed directly on the child’s clothing, both of which will take you to the client’s non-secure homepage. This page displays all the information that a loved one wants someone to know when finding the child. This information can be updated REAL TIME!

QR Code iD commissioned Special Needs Artists to create beautiful artwork to put on shirts, buttons, key chains and other products that have QR codes on them. These talented Special Needs Artists will be discovered and contracted to contribute original artwork for our products.

Membership is only $29.00 a year for this invaluable service. I highly recommend it!

Use “spirit 15″ when you check out for 15% discount through July 4!

Do you have any stories of your child wandering that really frightened you? What did you do? Share your comments below or post them to the SOA Facebook page!