Bad Behavior or Shedding Old Skin?

Have you experienced some exciting, big changes in your child with Autism after an intensive therapy program? Did you find that shortly after you noticed great progress you were also witnessing some less than desirable behaviors?

When you start to “retrain” the brain, It’s like peeling layers of an onion and getting your child closer to their true self. Being previously veiled by sensory overload and expending most of their energy simply trying to navigate through day-to-day experiences, your child is most likely now starting to take interest in people rather than objects, become curious, and feel many emotions for the first time. Do they know how to deal with these emotions? Probably not!

You may start to see some challenging (and downright ugly) behaviors and automatically assume your child is regressing or your therapy is ineffective.

Remember that it’s like starting over in many ways. They are experiencing the world around them with new senses. While in survival mode, your child was incapable of learning some of the tools necessary for coping with everyday situations. After substantial progress is made in the way they process sensory input, they are now open to understand and practice these skills for the first time. But it does take patience.

Maybe they just found their voice and are starting to express extreme likes and dislikes, or preferences for people and activities. Maybe they are so curious they are asking incessant questions about every sentence that comes out of your mouth. Perhaps they are touching things more, or having a new kind of tantrum when they don’t get their way. Take a step back and remember this is all new.

Last night my son was in his room and I started hearing unearthly screams from behind the closed door, each swelling louder than the last, with increasing frustration. He was trying to make something work that wasn’t cooperating. My first instinct as a mother was to run in and comfort him and perhaps even correct the problem; I hated hearing him so upset! There was also a part of me that was flinching with each piercing scream, and I admittedly had control the urge to yell even louder to get him to stop.

Either action would have been a true disservice to him. What I needed to do was sit with him and explain what happens when we let ourselves get that frustrated with things. I needed to teach him a manageable protocol for dealing with those feelings, before they get to the point where he’s breaking items because he can’t get it them function correctly.

I made it clear that it was always okay for him to feel whatever he was feeling, but that there were other things he could do to deal with those feelings. We talked about how to handle it when something isn’t working – not continuing to do the same thing repeatedly (only harder), but to stop, take five deep breaths and either ask for help or start asking questions. What am I not seeing? Is there another way to do this? If it can’t be done, can I be okay with that? Can mom help? Should I call for her?

Social stories and visual cues are great tools – it’s a good time to revisit some past attempts that may or may not have been successful for you before. My son and I started employing American Sign Language and certain codes from the police and fire scanner to alert each other that it’s time to use one of our new behaviors. As often as possible, I lead him to try and work out the progression on his own instead of solely giving him exact instructions.

It’s a new and exciting time when this kind of progress is made. It’s also easy to have expectations about coping skills and behaviors you assume should come with that progress. It’s my experience that I can always use a “refresher course” on the very things I’m teaching my son for the first time.

How about you? What are some behaviors you’ve mistaken for regression? What are some ways you worked through them with your child? I’d love to hear your stories, so please comment below or post them on my Facebook page so we can help each other!

Round Two of Sound Training – My Son’s New Gains

We’ve successfully completed our second round (“intensive”) of Sound Training and I am once again blown away by my son’s progress. It wasn’t until I sat down to create his update that I realized just how many new gains I’ve observed in the past few weeks.

During the “off time”, his brain is integrating all the changes that were created during his Listening Time. Remember, children may have different rates of integration when it comes to seeing noticeable gains. It is a process – not an overnight miracle!

You can check out the list of gains (and what I thought might be regression!) I saw after his first intensive here.

What’s new since then?

  • Traveled for 7.5 hours in someone else’s car (with his immediate family and family friend) with no meltdowns or major issues (whoa! No seat kicking, bathroom catastrophes or tantrums!)
  • Interacted with a family friend – engaged her in games and conversation (he acted calm and polite, using manners and asking lots of questions – bravo!)
  • Took direction from family friend (responded favorably when asked to quiet loud voices or stop a behavior)
  • Rode his first “big person” roller coaster without fear (and what a ride to choose as a first! Dangling from the car, suspended horizontally… loops and craziness ensued!)
  • Looks to me for facial expressions/reaction/approval when he’s about to exhibit a behavior or perform an action (this is HUGE! The entire thought process of ‘will Mom get mad if I do this?’ was never present. He was simply incapable of processing a connection like that. I can’t be more thrilled.)
  • Brought two Cs up to As and Bs on fourth quarter report card (yeah!)
  • Started asking me questions about his Autism – wants to learn more, recognizes that he is not his diagnosis (his brain is really hungry to learn, not just soak up extraneous video game facts)
  • Willingness to help – will bring objects to or do favors for others (again – whoa! He even gets something from another room for his older sister if she asks!)
  • Desires more independence – makes own breakfast at times, somewhat dresses himself more often (this is extremely exciting for me. I sometimes forget how much I have to do for him until I take a step back and realize that it is atypical for a child his age)
  • Continues to create flipnote videos with more expressions and emotions in the scenarios (not just aping his favorite characters)
  • Was able to participate in the birth process and early rearing of six puppies until five were adopted out (this would have been a very unsafe and unsettling situation if he hadn’t made this incredible progress)
  • Is gentle and caring with the puppy we kept (I still have to keep a close watch, but he is interacting with animals much more appropriately than he had with previous pets)
  • Is a lot more expressive, which of course is not always an ideal situation for ME even though it is good for him to be in touch with his feelings (I’m BORED! Will this EVER END? I don’t WANT TO!)

All in all, I can’t WAIT to see what’s next, as the struggles are falling away from him like layers of skin shed and his true personality starts to really shine.

Don’t forget! If you want to hear more about Sound Training IN PERSON and you’re in the Atlanta area, come to An Evening Seminar with Angie Marshallclick here for the deets!

In other news…

I had my first mission as a volunteer Bike Medic with the Fire Department at the PDK Good Neighbor Day Air Show Saturday. I trained hard for this during the month of May and was absolutely honored to be able to serve my community as a First Responder in this capacity. I’m in a world of hurt currently, but it is the pain of accomplishment, so I’ll survive :)