Tag Archives: picky eater

For the Mom Who…

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…has to drive her infant around at 2 in the morning because being in a moving car is the only way he will go back to sleep.

…sometimes cooks three separate meals for dinner because her picky eater will only have pizza – but the crust has to be right, it can’t be too cheesy, the pepperoni better not be the spicy kind and there can’t be too much sauce. Oh and definitely not the sauce that is too sweet or has any green stuff in it.

…on some days actually falls asleep standing in the shower.

…most likely has read “Goodnight Moon” to her child at least 6, 947 times and still does the funny voices.

…gave up grown-up music in the car for about ten years in favor of Kidz Bop, Disney, and Pokemon CDs.

…can fix her child’s toys or computer, put together a shelving unit, replace worn appliance parts, mow the lawn, and still remove splinters with the precision of a surgeon.

…wants so badly to fix everything for her children but knows she must stand by and let them have the experience on their own.

…will be there to help pick up the pieces when they don’t quite get it right the first time, and encourage them to try again.

…always makes sure the house is never completely out of any grocery item, and the lunchboxes and coffee are always ready in the morning, without exception.

…simply doesn’t have time to be sick. Ever.

…has to endure the glares of people that think she simply doesn’t spank her special needs child enough when he’s having sensory meltdowns in public.

…eats the burnt toast so everyone else can enjoy their breakfast and nothing has to be wasted.

…sometimes cries when no one’s looking.

…knows that her children are here to teach her, too.

…gets up every single day and does what needs to be done no matter what kind of mood she’s in.

…accepts that right now it’s okay that her child with Autism is 10 and still needs help showering, using the bathroom, dressing, and brushing his teeth. She performs these tasks with grace.

…celebrates every success, large or small, and takes nothing for granted.

…knows that her children love her, but sometimes wishes they would show it a little more. However, she doesn’t require it to keep her heart open.

…goes to bat for her children, unconditionally, because their success is non-negotiable.

…always encourages her children to be their unique and authentic self.

…realized early on that there’s no turning back – this is a lifetime job and it isn’t for weenies.

…still knows how to dance with confidence, even if it’s in her living room. On the coffee table.

…learned long ago that the workload will never be “even” or “fair,” and that’s okay.

…considers the simplest pleasures a big deal, because life is precious and all we really have is the now.

…knows that her children chose her before coming to this crazy, adventurous place, and she is grateful.

…remembers that shining her light and being her true self is the greatest gift she can give to her children, for it inspires them to do the same.

…simply does her best, because there is no manual for this gig!

I salute you. All of you. Single moms, married moms, “unplanned” moms, adoptive moms, older moms, teenage moms, special needs moms…we have a bond – a circle – that is unbreakable. You are all amazing – don’t wait for others to honor you. Celebrate and honor yourself and the successes that YOU create.

Happy Mother’s Day!

What about you? Post some other “for the Mom who…” sentences below or share them on the Spirit of Autism Facebook page!

Why is My Child Crashing into Me and Screaming?!?

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In my house this weekend, my son was a human (LOUD!) bumper car. Despite all of my refined calming and redirecting techniques, the past few days brought loud screams interspersed with crashing into walls, family members, doors, mirrors, and repeated jumping and falling onto the floor. Ironically, light touches and loud noises from any other source but his own mouth send him into immediate meltdown. How can that be? How can crashing and tight squeezes feel great but a hand on his shoulder make him recoil as if he were being branded with a hot iron?

It can actually be very common for children with Sensory Processing issues to be both sensory seekers and sensory avoiders. How confusing and frustrating it can be!

What is sensory seeking?

As I’ve written before, Sensory Integration is the ability of the brain to detect, modulate, discriminate, and integrate the three special sensory systems – tactile (touch), vestibular (movement), and proprioceptive (body awareness).  Although these sensory systems are less familiar than the five senses we all learned about as children, they are critical in order for humans to experience, interpret, and respond to their environment appropriately.

Sensory seeking occurs when a child’s nervous system is under-responsive to the information being received by the brain, so they continually seek intense sensory experiences for an extended time period to compensate. Some typical sensory seeking behaviors include:

  • Hyper-activity
  • Impulsivity
  • Decreased response to pain
  • Crashing and banging into things
  • Craves “tight squeezes” or bear hugs others a lot
  • Screaming
  • Poor body awareness – clumsiness, touching objects or others too hard or too often
  • Staying in a soiled diaper or underpants

What is sensory avoiding?

Children with sensory avoidant behavior commonly have nervous systems that are overly responsive to sensation, which can trigger “fight or flight” responses to sensory stimuli.  They may demonstrate some of these behaviors:

  • Withdrawing from touch
  • Motion sickness, fear of heights
  • Anxious in over-stimulating environments (public places such as malls, playgrounds, etc.)
  • Picky eater – avoidance of certain textured foods, sensitive to food smells or temperatures
  • Doesn’t like being messy and avoids mud, dirt, messy foods
  • Struggles with self-care activities; will only wear certain types of material for clothing and or wear clothing in a particular way; complains about hair brushing, tooth brushing, and hair cutting.

If your child is like mine, we can relate to almost everything in both lists! However, I did have some success alleviating some of the crashing and screaming while we were in public, and I wanted to share what worked with you.

Things that helped

There’s nothing more frightening than standing in line at the grocery store and having your child uncontrollably scream crash into displays, climb on counters, and swing off things that are not meant to be swung from! OY! When this state of sensory seeking is reached, reasoning attempts fly out the window.

While we were out I offered some tight squeezes, head and shoulder pressure, and “contests” (bet you can’t crab walk to that bench and back in 2 minutes!). These did not stop the behaviors entirely but offered some relief to his body and allowed me a few more minutes to finish our errand. It is good to carry a weighted backpack in the car as an emergency sensory-seeking tool to help get you through a situation like that as well!

Once we got home, I was able to isolate him to a quiet room and really pay attention to what his body was craving. We used blanket rolling, full body pressure on a giant yoga ball while he was lying face-down, spinning, and our newest trick: wrapping a rolling pin in large bubble wrap and rolling it over his back! I then gave him some time in his tent with a digital timer. Watching the numbers count down always calms him. It was important that he knew it was not time out for misbehaving, rather a break that would help him.

Other tools I love for sensory avoidance behaviors:

  • Noise-blocking headphones
  • Personal games to keep him focused
  • Favorite healthy snacks
  • Nature sounds on my iPhone
  • Wubbzy music :)
  • An escape plan!

What things help your child cope with sensory input?