Product Review Part II: Step Ahead of Autism

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After reading Step Ahead of Autism by Anne Moore Burnett, I felt that the stories and tools provided were so thorough and practical that I had to break up my review into two segments.

This is Part II of my review.

Steps Six through Eight

In each step Anne shares a part of her story and then turns her experience into practical tips and exercises for us to practice immediately.

Step six is ADVOCATE. Here is where we journey with Anne into her first IEP meeting experience, which wasn’t smooth by any means. She openly and courageously shared how she was caught off guard, how she took her power back, and how she successfully created the right support system for her son.

This chapter also offers a complete IEP Checklist, so we can learn from her experiences and show up to our own IEP meetings armed with the right resources and tools. Bravo!

Step seven is ASSESS YOUR ATTITUDE. Don’t let this short chapter fool you – it’s just as packed with nuggets of wisdom as the more lengthy ones. The biggest takeaway here is best said in the “Exercises” section:

A positive attitude enables you to look at what appears to be an impossible situation and find alternative ways to make it work.

She also explains how neurotypical children fuss when their basic needs (like structure and routine) aren’t met, but children with Autism actually suffer pain and discomfort. This is yet another simple key into the lives and minds of our little angels. She also reminds us to steer clear of pessimists and negative thinkers (a great outlook for all of us, not just special needs parents!). As the Law of Attraction guru Andy Dooley recently shared in his Atlanta workshop, “Don’t let people coerce you onto the Bi**h Train, do what it takes to stay on the Bliss Train!”

Step eight is ASSERT YOUR AUTHORITY. Boy did I relate to this chapter, as my own son is currently going through puberty as well. I learned some more about what is going on inside his body and how to truly listen to my intuition, despite what the naysayers in my life may proclaim.

Anne again graciously shares some of her less-than-stellar decisions and reactions, which helped me feel a lot better for being human. (I AM human, right?)

The doctor described how puberty is like a fire alarm going off inside your body, and how in children with Autism it amplifies sounds, smells, and crowded spaces, which can and DO reignite old behaviors. When our children endure these magnified senses all day they must have an outlet at the end of the day to release the stress.

To make your child most comfortable in their environment will help them flourish. This may mean looking at different options for school, homeschooling, or other major changes. Follow your heart, and don’t let complacency, fear, and lack of motivation squash your authority. I am currently in complacency with my own situation, and because of this chapter I was able to recognize it and start making calls about some new supports for Justin.

Step nine is DELEGATE. In this chapter, the author comes to the realization that she hadn’t been very active in ministering to her own needs because she was so focused on her child. Her tales of isolation due to public experiences with her child as well as judgment and questioning from others hit a very sore spot with me. I’ve been a single mom for eight years, so I very much related to not trusting others, feeling judged frequently, and doing everything myself. Chapter nine inspired me to merely consider opening my world (scary!) to others, including other caretakers and other parents.

Step ten is ASPIRE. Programs like drama, art and music helped tap into the right brain of Anne’s son, which slowly softened the rigid edges associated with Autism. He also became part of a swim team, which grew him to be a part of a group, yet it still met his needs for a manageable world of synchronized order.

The biggest message in this chapter is to find the balance between not hiding your child’s diagnosis but not letting it stand in the way of their progress. If we focus on the positive gifts our children possess, benchmarks will be reached and celebrated. Even independence may not be out of reach.

Anne wraps up this masterpiece with real life examples of how she put the steps into practice, letting us see that these tools are practical and tangible.  She helps us determine our own milestones and gauges for success, and gives us permission to continually reassess along the way. That’s really what it’s all about – the journey.

Anne has a website that offers much more in the way of resources, connections, and coaching. She also lays out the steps on how to start your own Step Ahead of Autism support group to help find strength, joy and encouragement with others on this path.

I’d love for you to share what you thought of this book by commenting below or posting on the SOA Facebook page!

Product Review Part I: Step Ahead of Autism

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I just finished reading Step Ahead of Autism by Anne Moore Burnett. I have to say this is one of the most inspiring and practical Autism books I have ever had the pleasure of diving into.

As a researcher by nature, most of the books in my library discuss the biology involved in sensory integration dysfunction, the nutritional and behavioral repercussions of certain food sensitivities, and the implied neuroscience behind certain brain function as it relates to Autism. Anne’s story is a refreshing and honest tale of her journey with her son Joey, who was diagnosed at the severe end of the Autism Spectrum at age two and went on to become a successful college student.

Most of my books require hours of focus, references, and frequent sanity breaks. Step Ahead of Autism was such a flowing and effortless read; parts of the author’s journey and emotional roller coaster mimicked my exact experiences and I relived some of those feelings. But the real magic in the book is the way it is broken down into ten practical steps with exercises, techniques and tips that can instantly be put into practice. Many of the ideas are of course pertaining to making the best choices for your child, but the real inspiration is the transformation we make within ourselves – shifting our intentions, beliefs, attitudes and reactions to the diagnosis and the choices we face each day.

That being said, there is so much amazing information in this book that I will be only discussing the highlights of the first five steps in this post – Part II will be posted next week.

I really resonated with the discussion in the beginning of the book of what happens to us as parents once our child receives an official diagnosis of Autism or a developmental disorder in general. Denial, anger, and confusion are expected, but the choice is ultimately ours to wallow in a pity party of “why me” or become an advocate. I love how she says, “You can turn the denial into determination, the anger into energy, and the ‘why me’ into ‘watch me’. I know. I did, and I will show you how to do the same.”

She further states it is time to leave the “Why does autism occur” to the researchers and to move forward. YES!

This book is more about the changes we must make in ourselves and the skills we need to develop rather than trying to change the behaviors in our child. Quite a fresh perspective!

In each step Anne shares a part of her story and then turns her experience into practical tips and exercises for us to practice immediately.

Step one is TRUST. We must learn to quiet the noise of our daily lives and really reflect and pay attention – we know our child best and we must trust and explore creative solutions and limitless possibilities. She says it best that we tend to “fall into a trap of reacting to life and coping with what happens instead of actively creating a life that’s right for us.” I know this in my heart but I need daily reminders! Especially with a To-Do list that on some days seems longer than Santa’s “nice” list!

Step two is OBSERVE. The author suggests creating a timeline of your child’s behaviors with dates that you can then take to doctor visits and eventually evaluations. This will serve as the framework and ease the intake process when specialists, therapists, and other providers are to be seen.

As she shares her experience of receiving her son’s diagnosis in this chapter, I relived the road that led me to my child’s, which was much later than age two. I remember distinctly the signs and red flags; yet everyone had a strong opinion about what was going on. Half of my family and friends said things like, “He’s just being a boy! He’s got a lot of energy! Oh, my brother was the same way – he just needed to bounce on the trampoline before dinner – no biggie!” The other half came right out and said, “I think something’s wrong with your kid.”

Neither reaction sat right with me: the first lot telling me there is nothing wrong while I was clearly struggling with day-to-day routines and public outings, and of course no parent wants to hear that there is “something wrong”. Yet receiving the diagnosis had such a finality to it, and it definitely hit me like a Mack truck just like the author shares in her experience.

One of the exercises in this section is to simply unplug from the electronic world and be in the now with your child. Focus and concentrate on everything they are saying and doing with you. I recommend that for everyone, not just your child!

Also included is a thorough prescreening checklist. I really wish I had this before my son was five!

Step three is ACCEPT. Grieving is necessary – it is natural to mourn your child’s diagnosis and eventually let it arm you with a sense of new confidence. Unfortunately, many parents are stuck in permanent grief, as if an Autism diagnosis is a life sentence. We must accept the challenge as an opportunity to realize and grow our capabilities as parents. By focusing on what’s right more than what’s wrong we can empower ourselves and inspire others, as the author has done with this book.

Step four is ASCERTAIN. I did not have the gift of early intervention, but that’s ok. My son experienced several misdiagnoses before we arrived at the true picture. My journey and desire to learn more about my child rather than go with the first explanation and suggested treatment made me who I am today.

This chapter does provide a strong argument for making early diagnosis and intervention the primary goals of every parent, pediatrician, educator, and caregiver. She also offers clarity on what you should look for in the assessments you may schedule for your child, and also some classroom concerns to gather when starting to develop a needs assessment.

Step five is ADAPT. This is a biggie. We may be called upon to make big changes for the sake of our child, as the author did when it came to relocating. I love how she discussed her resistance to change, but said, “Joey needed us to move him forward as quickly and as responsibly as we could, to take full ownership of his welfare.”

This is not a job for weenies, I KNOW we all know this! In my experience we, the parents of special needs children, are a lot stronger than we thought we were. The key is to adapt, which the dictionary defines as, “to put oneself in harmony with changed circumstances.” ‘Nuff said :)

I hope Part I of this review has sparked your interest about things you can do to ensure the best possible outcome for your child. Even though I live Law of Attraction and carry a positive attitude in my pocket (which I sometimes forget to take out when I’m overwhelmed!), Anne’s story has helped me go easier on myself and take a step back. I have a lot more power than I thought and I hope you know that you do, too!

Tune in next week for Part II…