autism visual strategies

Two Simple Visual Strategies You’ll Use All The Time – via Behavior Communicates

I recently ran across a brilliant video from Carla Butorac with BehaviorCommunicates.com that teaches two simple visual strategies that help remind us as parents and teachers to cut the verbal and go visual with our children.

If you find yourself telling a child to do something over and over and over (my son) and they don’t comply, you need to go visual and SHOW them!

This video illustrates two simple examples of visuals you can use in the classroom or at home. The first is called FIRST and THEN; the second visual is called a token board.

Take a look at the video to see what this looks like!

I can’t wait to employ these ASAP to help Justin stay on track, especially since I homeschool. Give them a try and let me know how it goes by commenting below or posting to the SOA Facebook page!

You’ll also want to head over to Carla’s website, BehaviorCommunicates.com, to learn some more amazing tips like how to teach a child with Autism to play!

autism monkey joes

Autism Resource Fair and Monkey Joe’s Gives Back!

I’ve got two fantastic announcements for my fellow Atlantans!

This Saturday, join One DeKalb and Center for Leadership in Disability at the DeKalb County Resource Fair. It’s an opportunity for families of children and adults diagnosed with Autism to learn about and connect with agencies and organizations that provide Autism services and supports for DeKalb County residents.

You can come visit me at my booth – I’ll be talking about Autism Disaster Preparedness and Autism Safety at home. I’ll have an example of a 72-hour Disaster Kit and will be raffling off a special gift!

Remember, this Saturday, April 27

10:30 am – 1:30 pm at the Manual Maloof Administration Building  in Downtown Decatur

1300 Commerce Drive | Decatur, GA 30030

To register click here or contact Donna Johnson at 404-413-1427

I hope to see you there!

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Monkey Joe’s Lawrenceville gives back to the community with Special Needs Night!

Every third Thursday of the month from 6 – 7:30 pm Monkey Joe’s closes its doors to the general public and welcomes special needs kids aged 12 and under and their siblings. Admission is FREE!

As you can see here, Justin had a blast!

As a parent of a (loud) child with Autism, I took great comfort in knowing that my son and I were not going to be kicked out of a public place because he was screaming, running around incessantly, or needed a sensory break. We were greeted with a warm welcome and checked in with frequently during our visit.

I love what Monkey Joe’s is doing for the special needs community – I certainly hope more businesses are inspired by their Special Needs night.

We hope to see you there for their next Special Needs night on May 16 at Monkey Joe’s Lawrenceville | 665 Duluth Highway | Lawrenceville

Call 770-338-7529 for more information!

 

business woman holding up hands, "back up"

Special Needs Mothers Need Not Apply

My neighborhood has a special Women’s Club that meets regularly and hosts family-oriented social events. I’m going to be direct and get right to the point: I have been asked by several women not to attend any of these meetings because I have an Autistic child.

Bear in mind, I have never brought my son to a meeting, he has never been to a social event, he has never caused a neighborhood “ruckus.” He has Autism. It’s not contagious, scary or dangerous. There’s nothing unusual to stare at when you meet him. Why, then, am I blatantly cast out?

I have been a single mom for nine years. My children and I have lived on this block, renting my home, since our return from Knoxville two years ago. I have never brought a date home (what’s dating, ha ha!), had a loud party, had any questionable visitors, or been in trouble with the law. In fact, having disaster response training under my belt and being a volunteer with the Fire Department, I would be an amazing resource for the community if someone would dare get to know me.

I walk my two giant Malamutes at least twice a day and always wave and exchange small talk with everyone I meet. Everyone waves and smiles back, yet we’re still not allowed into “the club” (first rule of Fight Club is…). Worse yet, I continually get asked why I’m not seen at the club meetings, and am also labeled the “crazy homeschooling neighbor that doesn’t participate.”

This just compounds our history of being kicked out of restaurants, book stores, flights (!), and why no one in my family will visit us. I’ve also been told he’s not Autistic, it’s my parenting that’s the problem. That’s a good one!

With all the awareness work and training I do, why are we still experiencing this kind of response from people?

What should I do?

Well, I have some options about my neighborhood. I don’t have the energy to tackle public places at the moment (I will move one mountain at a time!), but here are my choices:

  • I can whine about how unfair it is and feel like a victim
  • I can say, “Oh well,” and let it roll off my back, like water off a duck
  • I can organize a neighborhood gathering of my own, or request to be a special “guest speaker” at the next one

If I can train law enforcement, EMTs, and firefighters about Autism, why can’t I put something unique together to present to my neighbors? It would be so beneficial for everyone to learn a little more about Autism and my son in particular. This way, when we have a wandering situation (which recently happened!), I can feel like my neighbors have my back rather than feeling like they are sitting in judgement. Sure, they may continue to judge me after they learn more, but that’s none of my business.

Now I’d like to hear from you

Have you ever felt persecuted by a group due to your (or your child’s) Autism? How did you respond? Would you like to learn more about giving a small presentation to your neighborhood? Share your comments below, drop me an email, or say something on the SOA Facebook page – I always love sharing thoughts and ideas with you.

What are My Top 6 Go-To Blogs?

Despite what goes on in my home from day-to-day, I truly never have to feel alone as a parent raising a child with Autism. It’s 2012, and the number of resources, experts, and all-around amazing souls available at the click of my mouse is one of the backbones of my survival. I wish this were the case when we first got a diagnosis and I was overwhelmed, frustrated, scared and confused (and very, very isolated)… but, as we know, everything happens in perfect timing.

These six blogs are my go-to places for experience, strength and hope. I am honored to have connected with everyone here, and can’t wait to do more together in some capacity in 2012. Here are my Top 6:

Louise Sattler
Louise is one of my soul sisters that I can’t wait to meet in person! She is a nationally recognized speaker that infuses her delivery with the kind of humor I adore. She is also a psychologist and owner of Signing Families™.  As soon as I get my act together, rather BALANCED (a non-negotiable goal for me in 2012!), we will collaborate and create greatness! Her support of my voice in the Autism community means more to me than I could ever express.

Gluten Free Gigi
Another soul sister that shares my city… we keep threatening to meet in person and finally share coffee talk! She took being gluten free by the horns and instead of balking about the foods she used to love she started creating masterpieces in the kitchen. Gigi has discovered creating and preparing these new, gluten free healthier versions of the foods she loves isn’t that difficult, is better for her and her family, and much less expensive than buying pre-packaged, gluten free foods and mixes. I have much to learn from her, and boy am I relieved! I’m so tired of buying $9 boxes of “Lemur Puffs” that make my son turn his nose up and say, “It’s not the SAAAAAME!”

Connie Hammer – Parent Coaching for Autism

Connie is an amazing, positive support for parents that especially want to take the struggle out of common hardships when it comes to raising a child with Autism. Bedtime, potty issues, holiday meltdowns – you name it. She celebrates and honors each parent and child as the individual they are, rather than pushing a “cookie cutter” system. I learn something from every single one of her blogs and newsletters.

Gabrielle Kaplan-Mayer – Kitchen Classroom 4 Kids

Ms. Kaplan-Mayer wrote The Kitchen Classroom: 32 Visual GFCF Recipes to Boost Developmental Skills. We loved it so much I wrote a review about it. What I love is that this is not just a cookbook (cue Twilight Zone music… anyone else remember that episode? To Serve Man?). Specific activities are spelled out to help develop fine and gross motor skills, assist with cognitive abilities, speech and language, and address sensory input issues. She has a Recipe of the Week blog that is really fun!

Kid Companions

Creators of Chewelry, this blog offers a wide array of viewpoints and resources when it comes to everything special needs. Their goal is to help special kids be themselves and thrive. Each of their products give us parents peace of mind and support our special children. If your child is like mine and destroys pens, straws, clothing, video game styluses (stylii?) and whatever else is near because of chewing fixations… you need Chewelry!

Stark. Raving. Mad. Mommy.

I have no idea what her real name is, but I’ve been following her over all forms of social media for quite some time. Her sardonic wit and twisted perspectives sometimes get me through the day. It’s a little edgy and in your face, but come on – don’t we all crave that sometimes? She writes about parenting, sensory processing disorder, anxiety, ADHD, allergies, asthma, Asperger Syndrome, and whatever else is cooking at any given moment. Good stuff!

So there it is. There are a lot of other amazing people I currently support and collaborate with, but in order to keep things consistent (I have little specks of Monk in me from time to time) everyone listed here must have a blog that is updated regularly.

What blogs provide great value for you? Let me know by commenting below or on the SOA Facebook page!

How to Celebrate the Child You Have

“Motherhood (and Fatherhood) is about raising – and celebrating – the child you have, not the child you thought you would have. It’s about understanding that s/he is exactly the person s/he is supposed to be. And that, if you’re lucky, s/he just might be the teacher who turns you into the person you are supposed to be.” ~The Water Giver*

I saw this posted on the Facebook page of one of my favorite mentors, Janice Masters, and it inspired me to delve a bit further

and reflect on the quote as it relates to my own life.

After experiencing your child’s meltdown #42 for the week, have you ever caught yourself feeling envious of other parents? Having thoughts such as, “It must be nice to be able to go to a restaurant with your child!” or “I really wish I could travel with my children – other people get to go on vacation!” Maybe you’ve gone so far as to wonder what your life would be like if your child was (gulp) “normal”.

After these thoughts take residence in your head, have you also been consumed by guilt shortly afterward as I have? First of all, do NOT beat yourself about it! These thoughts are completely understandable when you have a special needs child. It does not mean you don’t love your child or that you wish he were someone else. It doesn’t make you a bad parent, even if you occasionally feel you’ve been robbed of the child-rearing experience you were hoping for.

However, since an expectation is often a resentment waiting to happen, we do sometimes need to give our perspective a little shake and examine how often these thoughts are dominating our mind.

Please know I am not saying it is not challenging to parent a child on the Autism spectrum. Believe me! But maybe if you tried on a couple of different views for size – see how they feel – some aspects of the way you interact with your child might shift.

(in honor of Janice, ask yourself) What if…

  • You were to give yourself permission to feel your feelings and observe your thoughts – all of them? Could you then release them after acknowledging them?
  • You were to look for the gift amidst the challenge?
  • You were to make a list of all the positive, amazing traits you see in your child?
  • You were to sit back and watch your child play, seeing how in tune they are with the present moment and their desires?
  • You were able to allow extra time in your schedule to dawdle and not rush so much?
  • You could loosen some of the traditional beliefs and values that no longer serve you and start some new traditions with your child that make sense for who you both are today?
  • You started capitalizing on your child’s strengths instead of focusing on correcting the perceived deficits?
  • You were to start going easier on yourself and begin to follow your own bliss?

I challenge you just take a few of these questions and see how they feel for you. Let me know if you notice any changes in your home by posting in the comments below or on my Facebook page – I’d LOVE to hear your experiences!

I’ll leave you with this:

“Become a possibilitarian. No matter how dark things seem to be or actually are, raise your sights and see the possibilities — always see them, for they’re always there.”

– Norman Vincent Peale

A Valiant Effort + Failure = Great New Programs

So I passed the Firefighter written exam with flying colors – very exciting!  I come from a family of firefighters, paramedics, and police officers, and this opportunity made me light up with passion.  I helped start our county’s Citizen Volunteer programs with Fire Rescue four years ago and have been chomping at the bit ever since to get on board.

I then mentally and physically prepared for the Physical Ability Test (PAT). At 39 years young, 5’2″, and <110 lbs, I knew it was a stretch for me to pass this test but I was ready. I’ve been working out intensely six days a week for over three years. Oh, I knew it would be hard… but I honestly thought I had it in the bag.

I did not pass the PAT. You know what? I gave it my all. I didn’t walk away, didn’t give up, and ran the course until I had nothing left in me. I tried! I am so grateful for the chance to go for it.

Not to play the classic “Fox and the Grapes” theme, but here are some great reasons why I’m a bit relieved to have this behind me. These are not insurmountable challenges that I couldn’t have found solutions for with some crafty brainstorming, but nonetheless I am looking at realistic facts:

I am a single mom with a special needs child. 24-hour shifts would require very creative solutions! Childcare, school special events, and holidays all had potential to fall on my shifts. And they would! Also, who would the school call for a sick child? Could I leave the fireground to pick up a child having a sensory meltdown? I don’t think so!

Serving the Autism Community. The academy takes 100% of your time, energy, efforts, and dedication, as it should. Yet I recognize a great need in the Autism community for tools and support that simply aren’t available right now. I am committed to using my gifts in the highest way possible.

Children on the Spectrum Have Trouble Moving

  • There is a marked higher instance of gross motor deficits in children with Autism than their neurotypical peers
  • Gross motor deficits can include abnormal gait pattern, hip flexibility, spatial awareness, and trunk stability
  • These issues DO NOT SELF-CORRECT in time
  • Self-esteem suffers; they cannot perform many movements, cannot understand what’s expected of them, and in turn become even more socially awkward
  • Organized sports do not set the foundation for long-term skills and overcoming movement deficits
  • Many schools have cut or don’t regularly offer PE!
  • It’s been proven that children (and adults!) perform better on tests and cognitive functioning after they’ve moved around

The Fitness 4 Autism Program

  • I provide custom profile assessments to determine the quality of movement pattern and any deficits or exceptions that may be relevant
  • Pushing, pulling, squatting, and rotating movements done together will directly benefit physical, adaptive, and cognitive abilities
  • Working with your child and fitness boosts confidence, independence, and self-esteem and teaches goal setting
  • No expensive, large equipment needed! I come to you.
  • These movements taught also benefit not just sensory and gross motor skills, but fine motor skills as well
  • Speech targets, communication, and behavioral targets can also be incorporated into the program
  • Sharing this program with your child will also benefit the entire family – it sets everyone up for long-term health and fitness

Special Needs Training for Emergency Responders

With the staggering number of children being born on the Autism spectrum, one sector that absolutely needs to understand how these children process information and respond to situations is public safety. First and emergency responders are not trained to recognize and handle the unique physical and behavioral symptoms of Autistic patients or victims, which are likely to be exacerbated by a crisis or injury.

Do you think an Emergency Responder would know how to handle these behaviors?

  • Difficulty understanding language or gestures
  • Inability to follow multiple commands
  • Limited or no speech, or repetitive phrases only
  • Avoids eye contact
  • Spinning, rocking, flapping arms, hitting self, biting self
  • Inappropriate laughter or response
  • May not feel cold, heat, or pain in a typical manner
  • Hyper or hypo sensitivity to light, sound, smell, touch, or taste
  • Abnormal fears or lack of fear in a dangerous situation

I provide workshops and training classes for EMS, Fire Departments, Police Departments, Red Cross, and others where needed.

Overall, I am grateful to have a taste of following one of my dreams. I’m even more grateful to be able to continue volunteering for the county, helping to prepare families for disasters and hazards and being trained and able to respond to them when they arise.

Most of all, I am ecstatic that I can use my passions and dreams (and failures!) to refocus my energy and help children and families affected by Autism.

For more information on Fitness 4 Autism Program or Training for Emergency Responders, call 404.939.6211 or email Debi@SpiritOfAutism.org

Parents: Who Supports Us?

“Nobody told me there’d be days like these

Nobody told me there’d be days like these

Strange days indeed”

John Lennon

So you’re the parent of a child with Autism, Sensory Processing Disorder, Pervasive Developmental Disorder, or learning disability. When was the last time you gave yourself a break? Acknowledged your courage and persistence? Applauded your patience, kindness, and compassion? Admired your own strength?

If you’re anything like me, I can easily gravitate to the space in my head that flits between judgment and criticism for my parenting mistakes and frustration and exhaustion from all the energy and extra steps required to raise a child with special needs. Especially for a single parent with no family nearby! Oh, I also reside in gratitude and wonder with the gift I have been given; the charge of creating a supportive, loving environment that will allow my children to thrive.

It is good to be grateful and to focus on the positive. I do myself a great disservice, though,  if I don’t name and honor the spectrum of feelings surrounding my situation. (spectrum, did you catch that?) :)

To quote an eBook I recently devoured, The Happy Child Guide: “As parents, many of us are faced with conditions of exhaustion, loneliness and stress. We are
usually the first to be blamed for our child’s faults, and seldom acknowledged for the good.”

I replay the many times I’ve disciplined my son when he was only trying to ease sensory issues within his body and I cringe. I think about all the times I lost my patience with his failure to follow directions when he truly didn’t understand what was being asked of him. Or the times I (sometimes still) am simply exhausted from trying to do it all and I yell. I yell.

We are doing the best we can. Parents, it is OK. Don’t put those scenes on repeat playback. Don’t cringe. Forgive yourself and move forward.

What about the guilt? Do you ever grieve? Do you ever wish the road wasn’t this rocky? Do you ever look at children behaving in a restaurant and suddenly find yourself beating down that little green monster, thinking, “why can’t I have that?” What about vacations? Flying? Going to the movies? Festivals? Do you ever feel deprived or robbed of experiences that at the moment seem impossible for your family? How about the frustration of all the IEP meetings and discussions with the schools?

Honor and release ALL your emotions

It’s OK. It doesn’t mean you love your child any less. It doesn’t mean

you are not grateful. It doesn’t mean you are selfish. It doesn’t even mean you wish things were different. We’re human. If we don’t allow these emotions to come to the surface and honor them, we cannot release them. They will fester.

I spend a great deal of time researching and talking about the right kinds of support for our children. Tools, resources, therapies… and I am glad to be able to bring you these things. But I forget perhaps the most important piece of the puzzle. If our bank is empty we having nothing left to give to them. We need support, too.

I would love to hear some of the things you do to honor, celebrate, and support yourself as a parent. And I would personally like to applaud you in your journey. Congratulations. Thank you for being you.

It’s Summer Camp Time Again… HELP!

I won’t lie, this time of year typically throws me into a panic.  Memories of being burned repeatedly and having my poor son bounced from program to program each summer makes me dread the search for a summer camp solution that is within a single parent’s budget yet offers my child the support he needs.

I always assume that providing all pertinent information, tips, schedule samples, copies of the IEP, challenges, typical behaviors, and dietary restrictions up front will be sufficient and ensure success for all parties involved. Then, usually a week in, I get a call from the director who acts blatantly surprised and shocked that my son is having problems in large, loud groups and is acting out.

My all-time favorite exchange with a camp director was when my child was expelled from the Recreation Center program for the fact that he had to be watched. Devastated, I reminded him that I interviewed with him personally about my son’s situation, filled out all the appropriate support forms, and even provided extra sensory items. “You assured me you were equipped for special needs children.”

“Main stream special needs,” he replied.

“Main stream special needs? What does that mean?” I asked.

“Kids that act like everyone else.”

Ouch. Ignorance at its finest. I didn’t fight him, because I no longer wanted my son there anyway! Trust me, we never let the door hit us on the way out :)

Anyway… I think this list of questions for prospective summer camps for your child with Autism may help. I don’t want anyone to go through what I have these past few years!

Questions for Prospective Summer Camps for My Child

  1. What is the teacher/child ratio?
  2. Does the staff have experience or background in Autism and Sensory Integration issues?
  3. How are disruptive, sensory-seeking behaviors handled?
  4. Is anyone qualified to dispense medications (if applicable)? What is the procedure?
  5. Is there ample staff to watch my child at all times (who may be prone to wandering)?
  6. How many breaks will be provided?
  7. Are there other special needs children enrolled in the program (if it is not a special needs camp)?
  8. Are there alternative plans for field trip days if my child does not go? If he/she does attend and has a meltdown at the venue, how is it handled?
  9. What behaviors are absolutely not tolerated, and what warning system is in place for parents?
  10. How do you communicate best with parents regarding day to day progress?
  11. Can my child bring food from home due to a restrictive diet?
  12. How are behavior issues handled in general? (not sensory related)
  13. Are toys or comfort items from home allowed?

Hopefully this gets you started down the right road in finding a great fit for your child. The answers to these questions should provide a good indicator of the facility’s willingness to put your child’s success before their convenience or fulfillment numbers!

Some good resources to Special Needs camps can be found at AspiresMy Summer Camps or Your Little Professor.