Tag Archives: sleep

resolutions or reboot

Resolutions or Reboot?

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When my son is in his room either playing, building or watching role playing games on his laptop, I will sometimes hear frustrated screams and banging against the keyboard from behind his door. Fearing the thought of having to purchase another laptop (yes – it’s happened!) coupled with not wanting my child to dwell in stressful emotions I will usually run in and see what is causing the outbursts. It’s always the same issue: the computer is lagging!

What is the first thing I ask him when this happens? “Did you reboot?”

99% of the time a simple reboot fixes the issue he’s experiencing.

That got me thinking… in what way is my life “lagging” right now? (oh let me count the ways!)

Do I really want another list of resolutions to meet? Truth be told, all my resolutions have been on a list throughout all of 2012; some even longer! Guess what? Many weren’t accomplished. Do I honestly think that the changing of a calendar is going to make these resolutions and goals magically manifest? Really?

“We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.” Albert Einstein

“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” Albert Einstein

I don’t need “resolutions”. I know what I want to achieve. I know how I want to best support my son and daughter on their journeys. But we are all lagging right now. I propose a reboot.

How do you reboot yourself?

Here’s a funny one – The Universe already gave me a head start. I have this giant running “To Do” list that I carry around with me. Which is hilarious because I always think I can accomplish sever or eight days’ worth of tasks in four hours :) Anyway, aside from the usual day-to-day minutiae I had been taking the same several “big” items and transferring them from list to list for over a year. You know, those things that really need to happen but have no due date? The items that make me feel like I’ve been punched in the gut every time I see them still on my list? Those.

Well, my list is gone. I went to do my usual “transfer” and I can’t find this sacred list anywhere. Message received.

Here are some other things you can do to facilitate a reboot:

Change your routine. Is there a new food or eating style you can incorporate into your diet? What about one vegan meal a week? Eliminating dairy? Adding an exotic fruit or vegetable that you’ve never tried before? How about a new exercise? Try some yoga, take a walk, go to the park. You can listen to a new band on CD, try meditation, or even sit on the other side of the room! Any little change to shake up the hamster wheel feeling. I know how important routines and schedules are to children on the Spectrum,  but you can make a game out of it and let them help choose your new adventure.

Take a break from electronics and social media. It’s so important for us to unplug sometimes. We don’t realize it until we actually step away. How about getting out in nature, visiting a museum, or playing some old-school games? Jacks, hopscotch, I-Spy… I’ll bet you forgot how fun they can be.

Sleep it off. Rebooting can sometimes mean we need to oversleep. My Malamutes don’t let me sleep in, but there are occasional days (once every few months) where I just collapse into bed before my children. We are torn in so many different directions these days that sometimes we need to shut down and let our bodies and brains restore balance naturally.

Go for a full system upgrade. Why not? Maybe it’s time for a new career. Maybe you want to start your own business. Or get that new car you’ve had your eye on. What about a big move? Is there a new part of town you’ve thought about moving to? A new city? State? Even country? Nothing says reboot like moving and starting over. Just make sure you’re not moving to run away from your problems – they’ll follow you!

What about you? How can you reboot, leave the lagging behind, and get a fresh perspective on your life? I’d love to hear what’s going on with you – share by commenting below or posting to the SOA Facebook page!

autistic child worry

Why Won’t You Go to Sleep?!

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9 pm: the witching hour.

This is what a typical night in my house was like. Either the entire bedtime routine was a harrowing struggle or my son would go to bed willingly and get up every 7-1/2 minutes. Yes, really that often. Then, to add insult to injury, he would fall asleep just as my alarm went off at 5 am.

I did all the right things: the warm bath, stories, and bedtime milk… but by day six my “perfect” routine would transform into begging, threatening, bargaining, and sometimes even having a meltdown myself!

The worst part was when he kept me up all night literally bouncing off the walls, screaming, laughing, torturing the dogs, even torturing ME! If I did get to actually go to bed he would come into my room and climb all over me like I was a jungle gym, poke my face, stick his fingers up my nose, bounce on the bed, and giggle obnoxiously for HOURS. I used to think he was an android, because he would seemingly function perfectly the next day as if he required no sleep whatsoever.

It was killing me. Night after night after night after night of no sleep. When sleep deprivation is caused by another, even your innocent child that can’t help himself, the resentment builds and the patience lessens rapidly.

So I did something about it.

Now I want to help you do something about it, too!

It is estimated that between 60% and 80% of Autistic children have difficulty sleeping. This can include trouble falling asleep, restlessness and poor sleep quality, thrashing about, and early rising.

After spending month after month dealing with my son’s erratic and frustrating sleep patterns, I know and understand the challenges, hardships, and heartache associated with sleep deprivation. I also know the extreme health risks associated with sleep deprivation and insomnia, because I was experiencing them, and, even though it didn’t seem that way, so was my child.

After researching, experimenting, playing, and sometimes pulling my hair out, I found some really practical things that shifted our entire bedtime experience and brought sleep and peace back into my home! I was so excited about these solutions that I spent the last few months compiling them into one place so no one else has to live the way we were living night after night.

In my new book, 30 Ways To Get Your Child With Autism to Go to Sleep, I share everything I learned through months of research and trials and tribulations to not only cope with my son’s sleep struggles but to overcome them.

If you would like to learn things like:

✔ Sensory routines that instantly calm

✔ Suggestions for safe supplements to give your child

✔ Foods that may be making your child hyper and keeping him awake

✔ An ancient Chinese massage technique that greatly improves mood, behavior and sleep patterns

✔ How the color of your child’s room may set off unwanted stimulation

✔ Links to helpful resources and more

I encourage you to check out 30 Ways To Get Your Child With Autism to Go to Sleep.

Take back your nights and give yourself the gift of peace of mind and much needed downtime! YOU and your family deserve quality sleep and these tools will help you get it back!

Please share this post with other sleep-deprived families that struggle with bedtime, and send me your comments below or post on the SOA Facebook page to let me know which ones worked best for you!

Our Listening Training Experience So Far

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Listening Training? Huh? Is that some new form of obedience school for children?

No, silly! It’s an awesome auditory processing tool that I decided I wanted my son to experience.

From EnListen®:

Listening is the primary foundation for competency in speaking, reading, writing and social interaction. There is a difference between hearing and listening. Hearing is the passive reception of sound, while listening is the active acknowledgment and organization of sound. Listening is the interpretation of sounds in the brain. Individuals with autism and other learning disabilities can have significant listening disabilities.

The process began with an extensive questionnaire and interview to assess Justin’s history, strengths and deficits, sensory issues, diet, behaviors, and more. From that and the desired skill set indicator (specific, measurable goals), a listening program was custom-engineered and shipped to us for his first intensive.

This intensive, two-hour sessions per day for fifteen days, consisted of low-frequency music files and narrated stories. He listened in special bone and air conduction headphones to sounds with different filtering, gating and delays sent separately to the right and left ear to wake up the brain and stimulate his vagus nerve.

Low frequency training addresses issues with basic body functions, including fine motor skills, toileting, balance, appetite, sleep, spinning, and the need to crash into things (sensory-seeking proprioceptive behavior). The vagus nerve connects the brain to the body’s major organs, delivering vital messages via the parasympathetic nervous system.

Our Experience with Listening Time

I thought it would take an Act of Congress to get my child to sit still and listen to ANYTHING for two hours. Knowing that he could engage in conversation, do homework, draw, or sleep during Listening Time helped my willingness to try it :)

He LOVED this time. Every day there was a new experience that he looked forward to; each session alternated between music and narrated stories. But this isn’t just “music therapy”, the files are engineered to delay and repeat in specific ways that wake up the brain and “rewire” neural pathways! By day two, he actually fell asleep during Listening Time. YES! (it works whether the child is awake or asleep)

It was made very clear to me that this is a long-term process, not a magic bullet or overnight solution to anything. Each intensive consists of roughly two weeks of Listening Time and a four-to-six week “integration” period before the next one.

The Noticeable Changes

Each child is different, and I was also prepared to see no real gains within the first intensive, which was to be expected. In fact, there was a strong possibility of seeing some regression, or behaviors getting worse before they got better. We had a mixed bag of experiences, all positive in regard to the big picture.

I first noticed Justin expressing frustration at small things quite a bit. He had a few more tantrums and meltdowns than I was prepared for. However, I was able to take a step back and realize that he was feeling things for the first time and had to learn how to react and respond to these new feelings. This was good!

He started falling asleep to Listening Time, and was relaxed and in bed by 9:30 several nights in a row! You don’t understand, this is a child that even with a Melatonin pill in his system would be-bop around like a whirling dervish until at least midnight. This was HUGE. It also meant we started consecutively making it to school on time for a change!

Other amazing observations include Justin being able to do his homework in his own handwriting and having an easier time in the bathroom; his typical 45-minute potty experience began taking 15 minutes or less. Wow.

It’s been a few weeks since his first intensive and he continues to show new behaviors that astound me. He recently looked at a bad grade in school and showed remorse that he did not complete the assignment. Given another chance, he was able to draw the conclusion that he could change his grade by completing it then and promptly did so. He apologizes when he unintentionally hurts me and is much less hyper. He is starting to think through responses rather than mimic phrases.

I know these things will continue to improve as I support him fully with other modalities and tools we already use, as well as clean up his diet (progress, not perfection!). I love being able to ease some of his struggles without attempting to change who he is.

The next intensive will address planning and organization, language, multi-step instructions, magnitude, expression, and more, so we’re VERY EXCITED about that!

I will be releasing a video and free report that goes into more detail about EnListen®… stay tuned as I share with you our journey with Listening Training!

And uh…thanks for listening.

Sorry… I had to :)

Sleep Disorders and Autism

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Sleep disorders tend to go hand in hand with Autism. It is estimated that between 60% and 80% of Autistic children have difficulty sleeping. This can include trouble falling asleep, restlessness and poor sleep quality, thrashing about, and early rising. It continually baffles me that my child will have no noticeable changes in behavior whether he sleeps ten hours or four and three-eighths hours. In fact, a lack of a good night’s rest can sometimes affect everyone else in the family more than the child!

No known cause

There is no solid research on what causes sleep disorders in children with Autism. The two strongest theories are misinterpreted social cues and the irregular release of  the hormone melatonin.

People typically use their body’s circadian rhythms, the light and dark cycles, and social cues to know when it’s time to retire for the evening. We may see others getting ready for bed or have a sense of the next day’s schedule, which helps dictate the start of our bedtime ritual.

Children with Autism fail to understand social cues and the big picture. Even after clearly repeating my expectations to my son (e.g., ten more minutes of this card game and then you must brush your teeth), he will still start a new game when the timer goes off. He’s not stalling or manipulating me for a later bedtime. Boy do I spin myself in circles when I take the approach of uttering a long litany of my evening tasks and why I have to be on time the next day for a meeting! Yep. It’s like talking to a dashboard : ) It’s a good reminder for me to speak in clear and concise phrases and leave the rest to my silent mental gymnastics.

Additionally, the body uses melatonin to regulate sleep/wake cycles. It creates melatonin with the amino acid tryptophan, which has been found to be either higher or lower than normal in Autistic children. In a normal functioning system, the melatonin levels will rise at night and dip during the day, in response to the dark and light. Children with Autism don’t release this hormone at the correct times.

This coupled with sensitivity to outside stimuli can definitely play a large role in sleep disorders. Children with Autism also tend to wake abruptly to any light noise or movement once asleep. In my own house, I can vacuum next to my daughter’s head and she would continue sawing wood, whereas if I simply look at the bedroom door, contemplating checking on my son, he will sense it and pop up like a Whack-a-Mole carnival game. It’s always been like that, even when he was an infant.

Tips to get a better night’s rest

I find the best way to combat the sleep issue is by establishing a solid nighttime routine. In a perfect world, this would include a bath, reading stories, soft music, and consistent bedtimes. I do my best, but sometimes he just needs to wind down with a limited block of his favorite TV show.

Our absolute favorite nighttime ritual is “hot dog”: rolling him up in a blanket and using a yoga ball for deep compression on his back. We use different patterns as “toppings”, like circles are called onions, vertical rolling is called ketchup, etc. This is an instant calming tool that never disappoints. Finishing the routine with a recap of positive behavior for the day and a short EFT session is a surefire recipe for sleep success.

On that note, it’s almost 1 a.m. I should probably get some sleep!