Tag Archives: IEP

DENIED! Why am I Doing the Happy Dance?

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Six months ago I applied for SSI Disability to help me provide for my Autistic son. Meeting the income guidelines for this assistance, I jumped through all the required hoops of their dog and pony show. I supplied them with a 92-page history and timeline of all Justin’s diagnoses, school records, IEP copies, behavioral and developmental assessments, medication history (yes, I at one time investigated that route out of sheer desperation – a story for another day), and every behavior slip, suspension and punishment notice he’d ever received.

I saw their doctor. I followed up, week after week, inquiring about their decision. All the while, in my journey, I was learning about my son and Autism. I was not happy with the doctor visits, the medication attempt, the rigid recommendations, the books, the cookie-cutter approaches.

In this journey I came across a book by Dr. Robert Melillo called Disconnected Kids. Along with the centers he founded, this book offered a scientifically proven theory about a hemispheric imbalance in children with Autism, ADHD, Dyslexia, Tourette’s, and other disorders. I voraciously digested this information and began applying what I learned immediately. I tested and modified some of the sensory exercises and techniques. I expanded my research on the nutritional guidelines. I drew some new conclusions.

I began supplementing with EFT, teaching my son to tap and performing surrogate tapping when he could not. I also began graciously opening my heart and accepting the gifts of his beautiful mind. The docile nature of our beautiful Alaskan Malamute, Juno, has also had an extremely calming effect on him.

These things combined have changed our world. Oh, our journey is nowhere complete, as he still cannot tie his shoes or ride a bike; we still have days where a trip to the grocery store is a nightmare. It still takes an Act of Congress to get him ready in the morning on time for school. We are working on it, as I refine the techniques that have shown me hope and success. He is now able to smell and recognize scents; we can go to the movies and sit through an entire film; I don’t receive calls to pick him up from school early for being out of control… and he was denied for SSI.

According to my letter, “… the evidence does not show that these conditions are severe enough to be disabling. We have decided that Justin’s condition is not disabling under our rules.”

I’ve been denied, and I’m ecstatic! What mother would not want this kind of news?

Consequences, Consequences

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There was a time when two to three days of the week I’d receive a phone call from the school demanding I come pick up my son for behavior they could not control. As a single parent working full time, you can imagine how well this went over. Aside from job concerns, I also began to suspect that my very intelligent child learned that if he “kicked it up a notch” he got to go home with and spend the day with Mom. What may have started as behavior he couldn’t help soon fused into a nice culmination of sensory and social issues with a dash of escapism.

Some of the behavior described to me included loud, disrupting noises in the classroom and quickly elevated to collapsing on the hallway floor refusing to move, screaming, and literally bouncing off the walls. This resulted in multiple visits to the Principal’s office, being passed off between free teachers, and ultimately a phone call to Mom with the desperate plea that he couldn’t be “reeled in”.

Eventually I called another IEP meeting to see what we could do differently. After all, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results, right? Upon a detailed description of these days where Pandora’s Box was repeatedly opened, I discovered two things:

1)   If Justin appropriately asked for a sensory break or self-corrected, they let him go to the Math lab, which was his favorite small group activity.

2) If Justin spun out of control and the staff went through the usual list of attempts to calm him, they would let him go to the Math lab, which was his favorite small group activity.

That’s right, there was no delineation between reward and consequence. They were one in the same.

(to illustrate that I’m also learning along the way, I have been known to demonstrate the same behavior with video games in lieu of Math lab… see the picture?)

The solution: a result of two hours of brainstorming

Rewards are for appropriate behavior, or for the ability to recognize and ask for help if he can’t self-correct.

When a red flag is established, in his case it was blurting out noises in the classroom, he had one opportunity to reel himself in or ask for assistance. If he did not, he received a warning, and then was to be taken calmly to a previously established consequence. No parading up and down the halls screaming, no being passed off from teacher to teacher, no pleading or bargaining… straight to the consequence. Do not pass go, do not collect $200.

I found that this eliminated the excess drama and need to get attention from all our reactions. Learning that he no longer got to go home for behavior issues quickly stripped away the formerly blended lines between what he could help and what he could not.

It’s a learning experience for all of us: parents, teachers, and school administration. It’s worth it to take the time to get on the same page with all players and accept that each solution may be perpetually evolving.