Tag Archives: Ho’oponopono

A Letter to my Son – Clearing the Past

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To celebrate the coming of the New Year, I decided I would reflect on how far my family has come since I began blogging about my Autism journey. This post signifies both a reminder of the growth we’ve experienced as well as offering a fresh start to 2012… one free of the emotional “muck” I’ve accumulated this past year!

So here it is again, the very first post I wrote as Spirit of Autism.

I recently learned of an amazing clearing tool to help make way for new growth and opportunity. Introduced to me by the illuminating life coach Kendra Thornbury, this Hawaiian self-help methodology called Ho’oponopono (no idea how to pronounce it, don’t ask!) removes emotional obstacles that block your path, freeing your mind to find new and unexpected ways to get what you want out of life. In “Zero Limits“, Joe Vitale and Ihaleakala Hew Len reveal this wisdom.

The main process includes four statements that can be used when remembering any situation that is causing residual emotions or behaviors that are no longer serving you:

I am sorry

Please forgive me

Thank you

I love you

Intrigued, I logged this away, perhaps to examine in a quieter time during my daily routine. Today was that time, and it hit me with a pain in my side and a wave of uncontrollable sobs on the way back to work from walking my dog at lunch. These four statements sparked within me a flood of emotion and energy, moving me toward healing and letting go.

To Justin, my son with Autism.

I am sorry.

I’m sorry that it took me so long to understand that your brain works differently. I’m sorry I didn’t get it. I’m sorry I grew frustrated with you so much and had a short fuse when you were only acting out what your physical body needed to stop from hurting or feeling uncomfortable at that given moment. I’m sorry you spent your formative years believing you were not good enough, or stupid, as you so often would tell me that you were. I’m sorry I did not realize just how amazing your gifts are, and how sweet and loving your spirit is. I’m sorry I did not provide the right resources for you sooner, though I know you chose me as your mom for a reason and we are walking this journey together.

Please forgive me.

Forgive me for all the times I disciplined you and thought you knew better. You didn’t. Forgive me for sometimes viewing your disability as mine, using it to feel sorry for myself, or worse – to gain sympathy from others. Forgive me for putting you in situations you were not equipped to handle. Forgive me for being inconsistent with rules and messages, as if things aren’t confusing enough in your world. Forgive me for all the times I wanted to give up.

Thank you.

Thank you for being you. Thank you for accepting me as your caregiver, your teacher, your guide. Thank you for all the gifts you bring into my life every day. Thank you for inspiring me to rise above my perceived circumstances and start to help others. I would not be following my heart’s song without you. Thank you for not giving up on ME. Thank you for trusting that everything is working out exactly as it’s supposed to.

I love you.

I love you exactly as you are, today, in this moment. You are not broken. You do not need to be fixed or forgiven. You are all a mother could ask for. I will love you no matter where this journey takes us. All you have to do is keep being you and keep your heart open.

Love,

Mommy

I Took the 7 Link Challenge!

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I was perusing through my favorite feeds and came across a unique content idea from ProBlogger that I just HAD to use!

The article recommends publishing a list of 7 links to posts that I (and others) have written in response to 7 categories, complete with reasons why I chose each particular post.

Here are my 7 links – I hope you enjoy them!

Your first post

Top Five Reasons I Volunteer Before I began my Autism site, I helped DeKalb County start a citizen branch of support for Fire Rescue. Along with several extraordinary team members and an amazing Captain, we formed a vision for what was known at that time as the Citizen Reserve and watched it come into fruition. It was an incredible experience. Since moving out of state, I watched Citizen Reserve change organization, duties, protocols, and eventually redefine itself. It seems to have circled back around to its original vision, and I can’t wait to be involved again in any capacity!

A post you enjoyed writing the most

… and That’s What Little Boys Are Made Of Writing to share my experiences and help others ALWAYS helps me. I can talk about being patient, kind, and empathetic with ease, but I am also a single (human!) mom that balances a LOT on my daily plate. I make mistakes. I get caught in pity parties and frustration at times. I lose my patience. This post was very therapeutic for me, as it reminded me that I don’t always have to live in an the analytical and diagnostic world of Autism. Sometimes my son is just being a boy!

A post which had a great discussion

Why Does My Autistic Child Scream?! I am always honored when someone experiencing the things I write about first hand comments on my posts or tweets. As much research and energy as I put into understanding my son, I am still an outsider when it comes to Autism and Sensory Processing Disorder. I don’t feel what he feels, or see the world quite the way he does, though I always give it my all! I was thrilled to read Jason’s thorough remarks about this post, especially when it was only my second post on the blog!

A post on someone else’s blog that you wish you’d written

Little Specks of Autism by stark. raving. mad. mommy. This post is just beautiful. I related to it so much! I especially think about all the quirky rituals I have in my daily life, from having a favorite plate that no one else can use, to my odd parking space logic, to accidentally bumping my elbow on the table and having to re-create the same volume of pain on the opposite elbow for it to feel “even”. Yep, we all have little specks of Autism alright!

Your most helpful post

Parents: Who Supports Us? This is dedicated to all of us that live with and fight for our special needs children. It’s not a job for weenies! It reminds us that our feelings are natural, however appropriate or inappropriate we are judging them to be at the time, and that support for US is vital to our children’s success.

A post with a title that you are proud of

“I’m funny how? Funny like I’m a clown, I amuse you?” This was a really fun bit to write explaining how children on the Spectrum typically do not understand sarcasm. Ironically the entire post was sprinkled with said sarcasm, as it runs rampant in my house and in my head.

Actually it’s a tie…

Are You Going to the Hardware Store for a Loaf of Bread? Another playful post that starts off with a famous scene from The Electric Company. Though quite humorous, the post really hones in on our expectations and how it’s not really fair to keep demanding things from people that they are not capable of giving.

A post that you wish more people had read

A Letter to my Son – Clearing the Past Read with tissues nearby. That is all.

A Letter to my Son – Clearing the Past

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I recently learned of an amazing clearing tool to help make way for new growth and opportunity. Introduced to me by the illuminating life coach Kendra Thornbury, this Hawaiian self-help methodology called Ho’oponopono (no idea how to pronounce it, don’t ask!) removes emotional obstacles that block your path, freeing your mind to find new and unexpected ways to get what you want out of life. In “Zero Limits“, Joe Vitale and Ihaleakala Hew Len reveal this wisdom.

The main process includes four statements that can be used when remembering any situation that is causing residual emotions or behaviors that are no longer serving you:

I am sorry

Please forgive me

Thank you

I love you

Intrigued, I logged this away, perhaps to examine in a quieter time during my daily routine. Today was that time, and it hit me with a pain in my side and a wave of uncontrollable sobs on the way back to work from walking my dog at lunch. These four statements sparked within me a flood of emotion and energy, moving me toward healing and letting go.

To Justin, my son with Autism.

I am sorry.

I’m sorry that it took me so long to understand that your brain works differently. I’m sorry I didn’t get it. I’m sorry I grew frustrated with you so much and had a short fuse when you were only acting out what your physical body needed to stop from hurting or feeling uncomfortable at that given moment. I’m sorry you spent your formative years believing you were not good enough, or stupid, as you so often would tell me that you were. I’m sorry I did not realize just how amazing your gifts are, and how sweet and loving your spirit is. I’m sorry I did not provide the right resources for you sooner, though I know you chose me as your mom for a reason and we are walking this journey together.

Please forgive me.

Forgive me for all the times I disciplined you and thought you knew better. You didn’t. Forgive me for sometimes viewing your disability as mine, using it to feel sorry for myself, or worse – to gain sympathy from others. Forgive me for putting you in situations you were not equipped to handle. Forgive me for being inconsistent with rules and messages, as if things aren’t confusing enough in your world. Forgive me for all the times I wanted to give up.

Thank you.

Thank you for being you. Thank you for accepting me as your caregiver, your teacher, your guide. Thank you for all the gifts you bring into my life every day. Thank you for inspiring me to rise above my perceived circumstances and start to help others. I would not be following my heart’s song without you. Thank you for not giving up on ME. Thank you for trusting that everything is working out exactly as it’s supposed to.

I love you.

I love you exactly as you are, today, in this moment. You are not broken. You do not need to be fixed or forgiven. You are all a mother could ask for. I will love you no matter where this journey takes us. All you have to do is keep being you and keep your heart open.

Love,

Mommy