autism wandering

Emergency Responders: 7 Things You NEED to Know About Autism Wandering

autism wandering

As an autism mom, worry and fear can be my constant companions. My entire life can change in the blink of an eye, especially because my child wanders.

My son has been wandering since he could walk.

One particular time, he was playing with the hose in the front yard. Wearing no shirt or shoes, he didn’t have a care in the world. He loves water. Seconds earlier, I had checked on him through the kitchen window and he was fine. Then his sister went outside and they got into a small scuffle… she told him to “get lost.”

People with autism are very literal. That’s exactly what he did.

In less than two minutes he was GONE.

I activated 911 and had the whole neighborhood searching for him. 3-1/2 hours later he was found several blocks away under a bush. I shook him and hugged him and asked what on earth he was thinking! He only replied, “My sister said get lost.”

My son, now 14, is nine inches taller than me, has a mustache and wears men’s large sized clothing. While he wanders more “online” these days than out of the house, it is still challenging to keep him safe, especially if we go to public events and gatherings.

I have multiple stories of “close calls” like this. As an emergency responder, I’ve been tasked to find missing children at festivals and responded to autism-related EMS calls. If you’re a first responder, here are 7 things you need to know about wandering.

  1. It can happen in an instant. Just like my story, thousands of autism parents have literally “blinked” and had their child disappear on them. It is beyond terrifying. Know that children with autism are not being manipulative, calculating, or trying to get out of a test at school… something catches their eye, or they are experiencing sensory overwhelm, and they run.
  2. It’s more common than you think. The National Autism Association cites that 49% of autistic people are prone to wandering away from a safe environment, which is nearly four times higher than their neurotypical siblings. Two in three parents of elopers reported their missing children had a “close call” with a traffic injury. Wandering was ranked among the most stressful ASD behaviors by 58% of parents of elopers. 62% of families of children who elope were prevented from attending/enjoying activities outside the home due to fear of wandering. 40% of parents have suffered sleep disruption due to fear of elopement.
  3. They are drawn to water. In 2009, 2010, and 2011, accidental drowning accounted for 91% total U.S. deaths reported in children with an ASD ages 14 and younger subsequent to wandering/elopement. In my Autism Training courses I teach parents and emergency responders to search water first if a person with autism goes missing. This includes rivers, pools, lakes, ponds, and even fountains. For more information on WHY they are drawn to water, read this article.
  4. They may not seek help. Don’t assume wandering is a crisis or emergency to someone with autism. They may be perfectly happy in their own little world and not seek assistance just because they are “lost.” I’ve seen cases where an autistic child was hungry, walked into a strange family’s house and sat down at the dinner table! If you ARE searching for a missing person with autism, don’t discount looking in tight spaces or odd locations simply because a reasonable person wouldn’t go there. I’ve witnessed children found between mattresses behind a dumpster and inside a hay bale.
  5. They may be nonverbal. Even if a child (or adult!) is typically verbal, under the duress of an emergency they may not be able to communicate their needs. In fact, over one-third of autistic people that wander cannot communicate their name or address. Look for alternate IDs, such as bracelets, shoelace tags, phone apps, or QR codes to help you identify someone and get their medical history and caregiver contact information stat.
  6. If there’s a reason, it probably seems trivial to you. The other night, at approximately 4 am during my shift, my ambulance was parked at a convenience store. My partner and I were standing outside, enjoying the fact that we finally got to stop for a long-awaited cup of coffee, when a 15 year-old boy walked up to us. He asked if we could call his mom and apologize for him for not doing the dishes. He said, “Please tell her I’m sorry and I want to come home.” I saw him tapping his index fingers together repeatedly (“stimming“), recognized some of his other behaviors, and immediately identified him as autistic. After some careful questions, we discovered that he failed to do the dishes 12 hours ago and was so upset that he left home. He had been wandering the streets of Atlanta and riding local trains on and off since 4 pm that afternoon. Luckily, we were able to contact his parents and they immediately came to pick him up. They both cried tears of joy that he was found safely.
  7. Parents may be afraid to call 911. The parents from the situation above had been driving around all night looking for their son. They told us that they were, “…about to call 911” when they got our phone call. As a responder, you are probably thinking, “WHY DID YOU WAIT SO LONG!” But as a parent it is scary. You want to believe they are right around the corner. You want to believe they’re hiding in the house somewhere, playing a terrible joke on you. You want to believe you can handle it yourself before getting public safety involved. There is a stigma around “losing” a child. Law enforcement doesn’t yet understand all the nuances and variables of autism. I’m not saying parents are RIGHT to think and feel this way, I’m just saying these are thoughts that go through our mind. It does not necessarily indicate abuse or neglect, so please, as a responder, consider the big picture and dig a little deeper if you are involved in a situation involving a wanderer.

For more information on autism training for emergency responders, wandering, or safety tips, contact Debi@SpiritOfAutism.org.

autism no eye contact

Autism Tips for Emergency Responders: No Eye Contact

autism no eye contact

image courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net

I read an awesome article on TheMighty.com that asked 16 different people on the autism spectrum to describe why making eye contact can be difficult for them. Any insights like this help me be a better parent to my autistic teens and a better educator for emergency responders.

Lack of eye contact may be considered rude or antisocial to those who don’t understand it. However, in an emergency situation that involves first responders, it can be misconstrued as evidence of guilt, non-compliance, or even altered mental status, all of which can put an emergency responder on the defensive and potentially lead to a call going downhill fast.

The Mighty asked their readers with autism who find eye contact difficult to share a description of what it’s like for them. I think some of these quotes are really helpful for emergency responders to be able to understand and identify what’s really going on when someone with autism cannot look at them. The full article can be found here, but some of my favorite descriptions are:

“It’s abstract to me and can be draining. Looking at someone else in the eye means I am taking in everything about them as a person, and I become overloaded. It can disrupt any thought or speaking process I have going on and zaps my energy quickly.” — Laura Spoerl

“To me, eye contact feels like I’m being stared at, like I’m being scrutinized and judged. It makes me uncomfortable because I feel like I’m under immense pressure, and the tension builds and builds until finally I have to look away. It feels almost confrontational, which causes me a lot of anxiety.”— Emma Wozny

“It can feel like you’re standing there naked. It’s very difficult to form a coherent thought with all of this going on in your head. ” — Megan Klein

“When I make eye contact, the world around me blocks out. I can only process the immense pain and discomfort that comes to my brain. This pain goes if I look away.” — Lucy Clapham

“For me it can be a physical pain; it feels like burning with too many emotions, and I just can’t take it in all at once.” — Rosie Howard

“There’s plenty enough for us to concentrate on mid-conversation without the demand to do something which, quite frankly, feels very unnatural to many of us. You can have my eye contact, or you can have my concentration. Choose whichever one you value more.”– Chris Bonnello, from Autistic Not Weird

“Eye contact is hard for me because I am easily overwhelmed by lots of different input. When I am trying to listen, follow, or contribute to a conversation or just manage all my different sensitivities, it is easiest, most comfortable and least painful for me to not make eye contact. I listen and focus better when I am not making eye contact.” — Erin McKinney

My co-trainer at Spirit of Autism, Austin Harris, told me what it’s like for him, and how he’s learned to manage it:

“Eye contact is difficult for me because it makes me very nervous when I’m being looked at directly. It makes me feel uncomfortable in an unexplainable way. One tool I use to combat this is quick contact by looking at multiple people and objects. This works especially well for public speaking and teaching where you need to talk to the group instead of one person. What I do is I make brief contact every so often with different individuals so I am not focusing on just one person’s eyes.”

My daughter shared this with me about her experience:

“If I’m coming up on a person about to pass me, I drop my gaze immediately. If I happen to accidentally lock eyes with them, I feel a tinge of panic. What are they thinking? Are they thinking about me at all? Did I rub them the wrong way? I’d rather be invisible to them, and chances are likely that they thought nothing of it, but I remember it.

There’s something very uncomfortable about looking directly into somebody’s eyes while they’re staring at you. I don’t know what’s going on and I’m trying to evaluate the situation. And how long are you supposed to keep eye contact, anyway? If it’s too short, it may come across as dismissive; if it’s too long, it’s way too awkward. It’s a lot of processing and confusion that goes on underneath the surface in a matter of seconds, and when there are responses and replies expected of you on top of that, it gets to be overwhelming sometimes.”

I think the biggest takeaways for emergency responders when it comes to lack of eye contact are:

  1. If someone with autism isn’t looking at you directly it does not mean they aren’t listening.
  2. It can be physically painful for an autistic person to maintain eye contact with you.
  3. A person with autism may need to avoid eye contact in order to process and focus on what you’re saying to them.

Rather than demanding that someone look at you when you are speaking, it may be helpful to simply ask a person that’s not keeping eye contact with you if they are listening, if they understand you, if they can repeat back what you just said, or even if they’d prefer to communicate by writing.

SOA E2

Spirit of Autism Web TV Episode 2 – Improv for Autism

What’s a fun way for people on the Autism spectrum to learn vital life skills and mind flexibility in a safe and unique environment? Find out on the second episode of Spirit of Autism Web TV , where I interview my good friend Sandy Bruce, founder of Shenanigans!

Thanks for tuning in! Look for the next episode on Wednesday, September 10 at 9:45 pm on AmericanHeartsRadio.com. If you have a topic you’d like to see covered or are struggling with a certain issue related to Autism, drop me a line and I’ll see if I can answer your question on the show!

Spirit of Autism Puberty

Puberty, Autism and Emotional Shutdowns

Spirit of Autism Puberty“The universe hates me!”

My son came stomping out of his room and collapsed onto the floor, heaving a huge sigh of frustration.

Unfortunately, this is not a new scene in my house, as I also have a 16-year old daughter. ‘Nuff said. But more importantly, puberty and autism can create a vicious cocktail that seems to bring on extremely magnified sensory issues, increased hyperactivity, regressive behaviors, and a whole lot of unexplained emotions. My boy just turned 12, but we started experiencing a profusion of puberty related issues as early as nine.

“The universe is incapable of hating, sweetie. What’s wrong?”

Evidently he had built a statue of his Minecraft skin in one of the game’s worlds and he told me that his friend destroyed it.  Minecraft is a unique multiplayer computer game where you learn survival skills and build custom worlds. The creative and building aspects of Minecraft allow players to build constructions out of textured cubes in a 3D world.

First and foremost, I was extremely proud of his ability to articulate to me that he was upset, the reason he was upset, and that he had worked very hard on the statue and it had taken him a long time. This is a HUGE milestone for us! But before we had a chance to begin talking about it, everything started going wrong for him. Everything he touched seemed to break or malfunction. He tried to pet the dogs and they ran away from him. His sister yelled at him for seemingly no reason.

I know from experience that when you have the “everything sucks” filter on, your experiences will follow suit. You know, like when you start out having a bad day it seems that your car won’t start, you spill coffee on yourself, you mess up a client proposal… have you ever had a day like that?

So the first thing I had to do was help diffuse his “universe hates me” perspective, starting with three deep and centering breaths together.

Delayed responses are another typical experience for Autistic children, and once I thought he was in a calmer place (about 30 minutes later), he started crying uncontrollably about the loss of his statue. It was that real guttural crying, too; I felt horrible. I consoled him and acknowledged that he felt upset that his statue was destroyed.

We then talked about choices. I told him he could either play one of his other favorite games (offline) to help get his mind off of it for now or he could choose to talk to his friend and tell him that his feelings were hurt. He could ask him why he destroyed the statue and open the lines of communication.

He had already removed his friend from his Skype list and blocked him from his server! His impulsivity coupled with an intensity of emotions he wasn’t accustomed to had caused him to overreact and shut down.

Once the tears were dry, we played a game called “5 Other Things”. I learned this gold nugget of a coping skill as a teenager and it’s never failed me. The idea is that it’s not what happens to us that causes emotional distress, rather our interpretation of it.  For instance, if a person doesn’t show up for a meeting with me I might immediately feel hurt and angry, assuming I had been blown off. This could rapidly lead to a barrage of negative thoughts: “Did they even INTEND to show up? Am I not good enough for a simple text or phone call letting me know? Who do they think they are?!” etc.

“5 Other Things” forces you to step outside of that neural pattern and look at some other possibilities for the event in question. Was there a family emergency? Are they simply running late? Car trouble? Did one of us write down the wrong day?

Naturally, if someone does this sort of thing to you regularly, “5 Other Things” is not the answer… getting a new friend is J

Being that my son didn’t SEE his statue being destroyed (it was simply gone when he logged back in to the server), we looked at some other possibilities:

  • Did another person playing on that server do it?
  • Did the game malfunction somehow?
  • Could his friend have accidentally done it?
  • Was the site hacked?
  • Did aliens land on earth and destroy all human forms of online entertainment? (Silly can be good if you’re trying to break neural patterns!)

“5 Other Things” worked! After some investigating (and a proven screenshot alibi of the suspect, ha!) he and his NOW UNBLOCKED friend discovered that the server crashed and the world was restored from an earlier version… before he had built the statue.

What a great learning opportunity this was for us! When puberty, autism and emotional shutdowns occur, we now have a blueprint:

  1. Take three deep breaths together
  2. Encourage him to share what is wrong, and praise him for being able to name it
  3. Help diffuse the “everything sucks” filter or mindset
  4. Acknowledge the feelings he is experiencing without judgment or criticism
  5. Play the “5 Other Things” game – without fear of getting a little silly!
autism visual strategies

Two Simple Visual Strategies You’ll Use All The Time – via Behavior Communicates

I recently ran across a brilliant video from Carla Butorac with BehaviorCommunicates.com that teaches two simple visual strategies that help remind us as parents and teachers to cut the verbal and go visual with our children.

If you find yourself telling a child to do something over and over and over (my son) and they don’t comply, you need to go visual and SHOW them!

This video illustrates two simple examples of visuals you can use in the classroom or at home. The first is called FIRST and THEN; the second visual is called a token board.

Take a look at the video to see what this looks like!

I can’t wait to employ these ASAP to help Justin stay on track, especially since I homeschool. Give them a try and let me know how it goes by commenting below or posting to the SOA Facebook page!

You’ll also want to head over to Carla’s website, BehaviorCommunicates.com, to learn some more amazing tips like how to teach a child with Autism to play!

HeART of the Spectrum

HeART of the Spectrum Community Arts Center

I was recently introduced to an amazing organization called HeART of the Spectrum. It’s an inclusive art center in Seattle, WA founded by Michael Tolleson and Jack Anderson to encourage and support the artistic abilities of individuals with Autism and Asperger’s. A variety of classes as well as the HeART of the Spectrum Mentoring Art Program are offered at the center, geared toward individual interests and abilities.

In addition to the Mentoring Art Program, HeART of the Spectrum also has a unique gallery that features emerging artwork by individuals on the Autism Spectrum. Artists of all ages and styles have contributed their work, and over 50 pieces now hang in the ground floor storefront.

With so much focus on Autism as a disorder or disability, I think it’s extremely encouraging to see these two artists changing that by showing us the creative, focused and brilliant minds of those on the Spectrum. They are truly celebrating the gifts of Autism.

Because art can be the only form of expression for some of the artists who work at the gallery, Anderson and Tolleson say they strive to help them gain understanding through exposing their art to the greater community.

You can see video coverage by The Seattle Channel here:

For more information on HeART of the Spectrum, visit the gallery’s website or call 206-478-8342. I can’t wait to visit in person SOON!

Demystifying Alternative Therapies for Children with Autism

Reposted with permission from Healthism.

For parents of children on the Autism Spectrum figuring out treatment can be tough. The spectrum is vast and children have different symptoms and triggers that require different treatments. There are a number of ways to treat your child’s needs through different therapies – from the way you eat to different activities you do. That is why we’ve contacted the BEST of the best when it comes to Autism specialists to find out more about each treatment.  Here is what they had to say:

  1. GLUTEN FREE & ALL NATURAL DIETS

    WHAT IS IT?
    Improving your child’s health by changing what they eat.

    HOW DOES IT WORK?
    Children with Autism tend to have food sensitivities more than food allergies, the biggest offenders can be gluten and casein (casein is a protein in dairy products and gluten is found in wheat, barley, rye, and some oats). Some autistic children have vast improvements on a Gluten Free Casein Free diet (GFCF) while other do not.

    Also, a diet of minimally processed, or foods in as close to their natural state as possible, can help some children with Autism. One common symptom of Autism is gastrointestinal (GI) upset because children with Autism often lack, or have very low levels, of detoxification and digestive enzymes. This leads to poor digestion and absorption of food and nutrients resulting in a multitude both behavioral and physical symptoms. Minimally processed or all natural foods contain less potential GI and behavioral triggers which can mean all the difference to a child with Autism.

    HOW DOES IT HELP? The first major improvement is an almost immediate reduction in GI distress. The effects vary, but some parents have actually proclaimed to have “gotten their child back” due to the vast improvement in behavior and reduction in autism symptoms.

    Also, almost everyone notes a positive change from shifting to a natural diet. A recent study found that autistic children who experienced chronic GI distress had the greatest improvements in behavior and social interaction when compared with autistic children without significant GI distress.

    Colleen Hurley, RD is a Wholistic practitioner, Registered Dietitian, Certified Kid’s Nutrition Specialist, and a Master Gardener offering wellness education through services and her website at www.colleenhurleyrd.com.

    Debi Taylor, Autism Specialist; www.SpiritOfAutism.org

  2. CRANIO-SACRAL THERAPY WHAT IS IT? Improving Health by Allowing The Breath of Life to Do It’s Job

    HOW IS IT ADMINISTERED? Biodynamic Craniosacral therapy orients and magnifies the forces that direct cells to do their job. It has one foot rooted in anatomy, and another in what practitioners call the breath of life that breathes in all of our cells every second. Healing occurs by these forces communicating more strongly, and clearly in a person’s energy field and body and tissue field. It works at the root level of health which is the quantum physics of the body.

    The breath of life is the similar to electricity in that it’s used everyday as it breathes and directs each cell. Practitioners do not quite understand how it happens, but with Autism these forces can be blocked by various conditions at birth, in-utero, from genetics, and from environmental toxins. Biodynamic Craniosacral therapy allows the body to show the practitioner what level it wants to work on. It orients towards the forces that are present from conception on, to magnify them to heal areas where the body is less connected to these baseline forces specialists call the breath of life.

    When cells and the entire body connect more to these forces of health, the body heals on emotional, mental, physical, and energetic levels. Craniosacral therapy will improve one’s health by strengthening the body’s innate intelligence and a sense of well being occurs.

    HOW DOES IT HELP? Some practitioners have had good results with this, as Craniosacral therapy supports whatever is needed at anytime. The affects are direct and indirect. Treatment can magnify other therapies as well as support maximizing the child’s brain development. When children and their parents receive Craniosacral therapy (as both should be treated since they are all in a unit) it supports their nervous system, immune system, and more, as healing happens where it is needed.

    It is believed that only the body knows exactly what it needs, the practitioner just holds the proper container for healing to happen. While the practitioner is tracking what is happening with their client, they make sure to “get out of the way” to allow the breath of life to do the job.

    Dr. Kate Klemer has been practicing Cranial work since 1986. She has studied various forms of the work. Over the past 10 years she has been training to be a teacher of biodynamic craniosacral therapy. www.drkateklemer.com.

  3. EQUINE-ASSISTED THERAPY WHAT IS IT? Help through horseback riding.

    HOW DOES IT WORK? After an initial application and intake process is done, a child may start a specific treatment plan specific to their needs. This will include elements of occupational, speech and language, physical, and cognitive behavioral therapies. While a child may spend up to 45 minutes riding they also work on daily living skills. They are taught the daily care of a horse like grooming and feeding which is paralleled to their own self daily care. LifeStriders Therapeutic Riding Center also makes sure to include sensory integration, so the children are playing games and doing activities while riding.

    HOW DOES IT HELP? Many people with disabilities don’t have a normal gait, a common symptom of many children with Autism. When a person is not moving how they were meant to move the brain doesn’t get certain kinds of stimulation. With Equine-Assisted Therapy a horse carries four beats per step, so a child’s brain is getting stimulation they wouldn’t get with their normal two beats per step.

    There have also been studies that show that oxytocin, or the bonding hormone, is released during riding. A result of this is an increase in sustained contact. And while the brain is stimulated week after week they’ve seen increased verbalization in most of their non-verbal patients. Many non-verbal students even say their first words during riding, which is music to a parent’s ears.

    Veronica Sosa Agnoli, MS, LPC is the Executive Director of LifeStriders Therapeutic Riding Center, establishing LifeStriders as a leader in the field of Equine Facilitated Learning/Mental Health and therapeutic riding.

For more articles discussing tips for teachers, preparing them for college, great resource roundups, and more, visit http://blog.healthism.com/.

Have you used either of these therapies with your children? What have you seen that works or doesn’t work? Is there an alternative therapy you use that we haven’t covered?

Siblings in the Shadows

“It’s not fair! Everything you say is always about Autism, Autism, Autism! You always write about him and put his pictures everywhere!”

My firstborn gets a little sensitive about my website and the training classes, workshops and marketing materials I create. Sure, I can remind her about all the special privileges she receives and the times we go places without her brother. But that isn’t what she wants to hear. She wants to know that she’s valued, unique, and most of all, heard.

Here are some things I’ve learned along the way about how to make sure siblings feel included.

Don’t keep them in the dark. The unknown is scary to children – especially when it’s surrounded by energy that may be tense and anxious. They are extremely sensitive to your feelings, so sugar coating or avoiding the subject of Autism in the home causes more disharmony than protect your child’s feelings.

Additionally, you should be open (in an age appropriate way) about what’s behind certain behaviors and that they are rarely, if ever intentional. Impulsivity is hard to explain, but there are some amazing children’s books out now on the subject of siblings and Autism. It’s a great place to start.

Consistent rewards. It’s easy to get caught up in praising your child with Autism for every mark of progress and milestone. It is necessary. You may be missing the fact that every reward is also being counted by the sibling… and if the score isn’t evened they will remember.

Find a way to celebrate and recognize every achievement from all of your children as special.

This can also go the other way: many times my daughter will feel that her brother doesn’t get a just punishment for something she may have gotten in trouble for previously. Situations like that can indeed be a sticky-wicket, as your child with ASD rarely breaks rules intentionally. Unwanted behaviors still need to be addressed, and it helps to explain to siblings that discipline may be unique to each family member but no one is “getting away with it”.

Sibling-only time. Often parenting our child with Autism requires an unequal amount time and energy for that child. It’s so important to schedule regular one-on-one time with your neurotypical child. Whether it’s a ritual of ten-minute blocks each night before bed or a once a week “girls night out” (in my case it’s my daughter), this time is to be treasured together.

Support and expectations. It’s important for siblings to feel that they are not alone in their experiences. There are many sibling support groups to share their struggles and feelings, but don’t force it. In our case, my daughter had a good time visiting one of our local groups but quickly discovered that being with people that focus on talking about her brother still makes her feel like the world revolves around him. She flourishes when involved in a group that is uniquely hers – an improv comedy troupe, art school, and Dungeons & Dragons are some of her favorites.

Equally as important, do not expect your child to be overly responsible for the child with Autism. Unrealistic expectations can lay an unbearable amount of pressure on siblings. This isn’t a free pass to skirt all family responsibility; check in often and encourage open communication throughout the journey.

What are some ways that you keep siblings out of the shadows and keep things “fair” in your house?

You’ve Heard of Gluten Free for Autism, but What the Heck is Casein?

Many children on the Autism Spectrum have benefited greatly from a gluten free diet. Gluten and gluten-like proteins are found in wheat and other grains as well as foods made from those grains. They are also found in food starches, semolina, couscous, malt, some vinegars, soy sauce, flavorings, and artificial colors.

What is Casein?

Casein (from the Latin word for cheese) is a protein found in milk and dairy products. Four types of casein protein make up about 80% of all proteins in cow’s milk.

Casein can be broken down into casomorphin, a peptide fragment with opiate qualities, which may increase the release of histamine.

Many children with Autism may have gastrointestinal difficulties that make it hard for them to digest milk protein properly. The most common effect studied is that ingesting milk protein leads to high levels casomorphines in some Autistic children. Affecting behavior like a drug would, casomorphines reduce their desire for social interaction, block pain messages, and increase confusion and spatial issues.

Casomorphines are more commonly found in the urine of children with Autism than their neurotypical peers. Some scientists have concluded that they leak straight from the intestines into the bloodstream.  “Leaky gut” means the casomorphin is  absorbed into the general circulation in children with Autism, which then affects behavior as well as causes addiction to these very foods that are causing the issues.

What happens when it is removed?

If milk protein is taken out of the diet, the idea is that this will reduce the level of casomorphines, and behavior will improve as a result. In our house, there is instantaneous feedback when a milk product is accidentally ingested. He becomes a whirling dervish for hours – screaming, crashing into things, and usually getting into major tangles with the dogs.

Like the gluten free diet, parents who choose a casein free diet for their child must become aware of the ingredients of everything in their grocery cart. Products that contain milk or milk proteins include butter, cheese, yogurt, and ice cream. Read labels carefully, because milk or mild products can be present in surprising places, like soy yogurt or sausages. Maintaining this diet can be hard at first because casein is present in so many prepared foods.

On food ingredient labels, casein can be listed as milk protein, calcium or sodium-caseinate, often found in energy bars, drinks and processed foods. Since casein is such an excellent binding agent, it is usually also found in dressings, sauces and spreads.

What are some alternatives?

Some milk alternatives are soy milk, rice milk, almond milk, or coconut milk. Many children with gluten and casein sensitivities can have issues with soy as well, so I recommend avoiding it.

Cheese is the hardest food to substitute – most of the rice and soy cheeses we’ve tried simply get a thumbs-down from my son.

Coconut milk has been reported to be one of the best choices, since coconut milk is anti-bacterial, anti-fungal and anti-viral and has a positive effect on the gut. In our house, the So Delicious coconut milk ice cream line is a MUST HAVE!

Does your child have issues with casein? What are your favorite alternatives? Let me know by commenting below or posting them on the SOA Facebook page!

Am I a Helicopter Mom?

Today I took my son with me to the computer repair place to drop off his laptop. Naturally, he was all over the place during the entire process – running around the store, making all the little holiday novelty toys make noise at the same time (repeatedly), slipping behind the counter, and making loud noises.

I am used to getting thrown out of most public places (grocery stores, restaurants, movie theaters, churches… shall I go on?) when this type of behavior emerges, so naturally I was a bit on edge, redirecting him as much as possible. Every two seconds. The store’s owner absolutely took a liking to my son and constantly told me while this was occurring to “let him go”, “let him explore and be a boy”, and “stop being a Mother Hen”.

I could have been insulted, but you and I both know that as a mother of a child on the Autism Spectrum we are frequently forced to be Helicopter Moms. Mostly I am used to hearing the opposite words than today’s experience: “Would you please control your child”, “You need to spank him or something”, and “Why do you let him do that?” So… yes. I hover.

I do know that when our world is immersed in sensory processing, Autism, and disability daily reminders, we can honestly forget that our child is just a child and sometimes they are doing what boys do! Still, people can often make judgments or assumptions based on the behaviors they see at that moment. This gentleman saw some loud noises, mild hyperactivity, and repetitive behavior and it didn’t bother him. What he didn’t know is that my son can have tendencies to:

  • Break items with impulsive movements
  • Hurt himself due to sensory-seeking behaviors like crashing into things
  • Make poor decisions because of the absence of a sense of danger
  • Disturb other people by being a “space invader”
  • Become so overloaded with sensory input that he is no longer able to hear and understand commands
  • Yell inappropriate things
  • Run away, sometimes into traffic

We lucked out this time. But where is that balance between being a Helicopter Mom and leaving some space for my child to show me that he can handle more than I may be letting him? Am I limiting his natural abilities to learn what’s appropriate and work things out? Or am I protecting him in the right way? Is it up to others’ reactions?

I don’t know the answers to these questions, but the good news is that I can keep asking them and tweaking our experience along the way! I am not insulted by being called a “Mother Hen”, I am actually grateful for the opportunity to take a look at the way I support my child and possibly adjust for a better outcome if I find some truth in it.

What about you? Do you balance between hovering and allowing? Has it burned you or surprised you before? I’d love to see your comments below or on the SOA Facebook page!

My children, Malamute/Husky pack and I wish you and your family a wonderful, abundant and joyful Holiday Season!